Saturday, 20 May 2017

Kweeny Reviews: The Berzerk Death Dealer

I like to try and support all kinds of horror media. But I don't always get the chance to. The most easily accessible media for horror is film. So I do a lot of reviews on it. But this time, I get to do a metal horror comic!



What makes today comic, THE BEZERK DEATH DEALER, special is the at that there are real people starring in it. You might know the name of the dark temptress Tristan Risk, but if you haven't just look up the name. you'll want to. She is an actress and performer and now, a comic book villain! Though in this case, I think everyone is a villain in this comic.

The world of The Bezerk Death Dealer is a dark one. There is guts and gore, people doing horrible things to each other, and a hero who has a fucking rad demonic cat-beast-thing who turns into a motor cycle! It's pretty bitchen, and I think the beast-bike is my favorite part of the book. Who doesn't want a loyal, sassy, monster bike who helps you get your job done?

The plot isn't exactly the most deepest, moving thing I have ever read, but it's fucking fun! And sometimes, that's all you want to read. The low down is this: Death is an all powerful being and makes the Death Dealer character do his bidding. When he wants something taken out in a spectacle of gore and madness, he sends the Bastard of Death and his doggo. When they are tapped to assassinate someone, the pair is getting high with his bike buddy. The party is done for a time, until they entire Gothic Town. Yup, the place is called Gothic Town. For real.

If you can handle Troma movies with their silly stories and all over nasty gore messes, you will be into this.

Love this realistic version of Maz Latex
So Gothic Town. There are a lot of assholes in Gothic Town. Reality imitates life. *wink* It's a place damned souls get stuck in and die. We see people being terrible to each other, and we know this is build up for our...hero and his pet to show us what they are made of. The Death Dealer gets a phone call from "Big Boss" and gets to work. We see the duo get dressed up in their finest gothic attire and the dog turns into a bike. Or is it a cat? I think he's a dog since he barks, but he is very stylized. I love him. I don't care what he is. I want to drive off into the sunset on his back.

(So the bike-beast actually has a name Rockabella! Perfect! A worthy name of a bike-beast. This could mean the bike is female, but gender doesn't change my love of the character.)

There' some cool panels of the Diablo riding Rockabella as they move toward destiny, and we find out his name is Diablo. Super gothic name bro. When he breaks into his targets domain (which is full of torture and sexy rubber clad bitches) he prepares a bomb called, "The Bomb Boner."

This is my face as I see the reveal of The Bomb Boner:

But that's how it goes in Gothic Town! So run with it!

So the servants of the realm are called Da' Festish Queenz, and they are ruled by the biggest, baddest bitch of them all. Tristan's character: Maz Latex. She has some experimental drug she stole from Big Boss called BEAST MODE and drinks it when the show down with Diablo gets heavy.

Maz in Beast Mode is a creature to be feared!

The Death Dealer sets off his bomb and for a moment, it bothers our big Queen bee. But then she smiles. Because it means war. Death Dealer puts on his "I'm serious business now" mask and looks damn stylish. If I can say one thing about all this ultra violence silliness, it's that it looks real good. The art style is fantastic and shows the work of someone who's taken years to perfect their craft. The storytelling is shallow but fun, and I think that is the point. If you go into this comic with ideas other than a fun time with ultra sexy violence, then this isn't for you. This comic is exactly what it says on the front cover, and I love it. I love it for being boldly, stupidly fantastic. Horror comics mixed with gothic aesthetic are bad ass. We need more of them. I don't care if they are cliché. I love it. And I love Tristan Risk's character so much because she's a vicious, beautiful warrior who leads with sadistic joy. She almost trumps Diablo in how over the top she is.

Look at the detail! This is Diablos mask.
The creators of the comic really put a lot of time into making this crazy madness. It shows in the art. Because no one who doesn't love their work makes a replica mask for nothing:

In summary, this comic is a fun, crass romp with beautiful visuals and a hardcore presentation.you can tell by the effort the creators had that this is a passion project. I'd like to see more from Death Punk Comix in the future, and they told me they plan to do just that. Get on your wild beast-bike roaring into the distance, and read this one. You'll have a gory good time.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Kweeny Goes to Crypticon 2017!

I killed it!
If you've been following me on social media, you know last weekend I went to Crypticon. You also know I had a fucking blast and I am still recovering from it! You know it's a good con when you come home limping. And I didn't get to go to any parties!


Demons to some...
So this review is going to be from a vendor's point of view. So keep that in mind. I tried to go to as much stuff as possible, but I was mostly in the Dealers Room. Which had good points and bad points. Good point was I got to see Doug Bradley right away! It was amazing guys! He is a gentle-beast and a Hellpriest. He over heard us all talking about Nightbreed and how amazing a movie it is, and when I came up to meet him, after shaking my hand and asking my name he went right into an amazing story about how he, Clive Barker, Barbie Wilde and more were all working on Hellraiser. He shared stuff about the filming of Nightbreed and for an aspiring filmmaker like myself, it just made me squee inside my head. That stunned look I got on my silly mug is because I am still buzzing from the story. LOL! I was so honored to meet him. You all know by now how much Clive's work moves me. How meeting actors in his films is important to me. I wanted to go find Median growing up. I was a monster, I knew where the monsters lived.

But I have found were the monsters live: Horror Cons. it's all about the horror cons monster kids. And that's part of what makes Crypticon so special. My favorite part of the con was running around hugging my friends. This was my second year of Crypticon, but I have been to a few cons and festivals around the PNW, so now people know me. Some, even like me! Some, wanna party with me, but I am not working with a full bar of energy. I love my con friends. they are all really talented and passionate folks who inspire me to do better. I want to vend my own stuff some day. And I still want to make movies. I went to some filmmaking panels, and one by the lovely Gigi Saul Guerrero of Luchagore Productions, suggested I see.

Some of my favorite indie filmmakers! 

She was so fucking right too! This is how a good panel should leave you feeling. Ready to try some shit out for yourself! I think supporting each other is so very important. All my friends have worked hard to get where they are. Be they Con Staff, to even us vendors. I noticed from vending that everyone helps each other in this game. Once you're all in, you've got back up. People know me as Press usually so my vending confused some folks. But it's all connected. All part and parcel of a con.

I didn't go party with my favorite folks (you know who you are), because I couldn't get a ride home and I was in pain. Still in pain. The pain was worth it, but it hurts like a hell priest ripping your skin off. I'll party with you one day, mark my words!

I need an Evac!
If there is one thing I took away from this con it's this: Thank you for reminding me what #HorrorFamily really means. We gotta make pockets of Median were we can. Because we ARE the monster kids. This is why we make cons like Crypticon. The Saw is Family.

Monday, 1 May 2017

Kweeny Reviews: O Unilateralis



Hey Monsterkids! It's your old pal Kweeny Todd here with a movie review! I'm trying to get back on the blogging horse. So here it goes:


Recently I had the pleasure to watch the indie found footage film O Unilateralis. This movie is full of little details that really make it feel real. O Unilateralis is not your typical found footage film, and I adore it for that. It starts off normal enough though. Two Travelers filming their road trip pick up a girl named Abby along the way, and from there things take a dark turn. This isn’t even the most interesting part of the film. Just some details we need to get to the really good parts.


Now I am going to be honest here, found footage bugs me. I hate the style and I find it’s over used. But this movie uses it in a way I could get into. It actually made things seem more real because of the places the story goes with it. When you realize a dark conspiracy is happening, it adds a sense of realism to the movie. And the story unfolding between the three travelers is its own dark tale. They drive through some really scenic parts of Oregon to get to their cabin getaway, only to find weird things along their path. Like a police blockade that causes them to take the back roads because Troy has weed and freaks out. Troy gets high and starts acting like a dick to pretty much everyone all in the name of “fun.” But no one else around him is having fun. Especially after what he does near the end. I will warn you, there is rape in this film. And graphic violence. The gore is done really well for an indie film and there are some scenes that really fucking shine gore wise.


Before the doomed travelers (who are all fantastic actors) get to that point, we are given little hints about what’s happening. An old lady attacks Abby, and if you know anything from horror movies, if you are bitten by someone, you’re fucked. When we find out what is causing the outbreak, and if you look up the name of this film, it will all make sense. Is this a zombie film? Not sure that part matters really. A sickness is infecting people and making them attack each other. That’s all you need to really know. The plot goes from two guys go on an adventure and a girl comes between them (Because one of the guys is an asshole rapist), to, “Holy shit what did I just see? Did she eat that guy? LOL!”


It’s a great film with a lot of meat on its bones. If you want to watch a found footage conspiracy that has people behaving badly and shows A LOT of the grisly details, this movie is for you. I’m looking forward to seeing what Michelle Nessk does next for sure.
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