Tuesday 22 January 2013

GIRLS HORRIBLE MOVIE NIGHT!



Welcome back readers to Kweeny Todd! This is the first in hopefully a new ongoing series, where I find some of my favorite female horror bloggers to get together with me and have a Girls Horrible Movie Night! Because I don't know about you, but I prefer bonding with other ladies over horror movies. I've never been one to have normal slumber parties, even as a kid. I always did things just a little differently. So let's paint our nails black, grab some popcorn and watch a crappy movie! 

Today's movie is...


Kweeny Todd: My guests today are Jenny Krueger and The Real Queen of Horror Zena! Welcome ladies!

Jenny Krueger: Yay! Thank you, Kweeny!

Queen Zena: Hi everybody! ;D  And thank you Kweeny for that awesome intro.

KT: Heh, heeelllllooo NURSES! Tonight we have picked a rather terrible, but very appropriate movie to burn our retina's with: Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. I thought since one of my guests was Miss Krueger herself, it was a prefect warm up.

JK: You know me. I'm Freddy's girl.

KT: So Jenny, how about you tell the readers who may not know what this movie's plot is and just what we are dealing with today?

JK: I'd be happy to. Freddy's Revenge takes place a few years after the first Nightmare On Elm Street. Jesse and his family move into Nancy's house where she was the first to encounter Freddy himself. Once they move in, Jesse starts having strange dreams and he's introduced to Freddy. Now it's up to Jesse to stop Freddy once and for all. But does he succeed? DUN DUN DUN!

KT: Seems simple enough right? I mean, when you hear the synopsis of it like that, sounds like it could be a good idea. But as we come to find out, and Zena will back me up on this, the execution...leaves much to be desired. Zena, tell the audience in your own words just how badly you had to scrub your mind with bleach after seeing this film. Sharing trauma will help you cope hon.

QZ: OMG...yes, my eyes, matter fact my soul feels exhausted from this movie. The synopsis sounds like it's going to be absolutely OUTRAGEOUSLY awesome because it is Freddy, HOWEVER...I was wrong to think so. Freddy pretty much wants to possess Jessie and to me, Jessie is a sweaty loser. Someone explain to me--explain to me now, why he is always sweaty? Anyway, I just don't think this series had enough imagination like the first one. Don't get me a wrong, I'm a huge fan of cheese horror, but this was just lame and somewhat of snoozer for me. Sorry, fans of NOE2!

JK: My heart just broke!

KT: I could explain to you why he is sweaty, but then you might need another shower and several years of therapy to get over it.

QZ: *laughs* I'm sorry, Jenny!

KT: *snickers* Oh Jenny, ever the optimist. Why don't you try and convince the fans you are indeed not certifiable because you like this film. Or, convince them further of your madness.

JK: You have to know, I am 100% Freddy's girl. So that means I'll be by his side during the good, the bad and just plain ugly.

QZ: That's beautiful!

KT: Well, no one can fault you for your loyalty. That is an admirable trait.

JK: The way I look at it, this movie HAD to happen. Yes it has it's faults but that's what makes it so awesome. If we didn't have this movie then we wouldn't of had Dream Warriors.

QZ: Okay, very understandable because Dream Warriors was awesome!

KT: But you know Jenny this film...it's just...UGH! Granted, it's not the worst tripe I have ever scraped off my teeth, as you are probably aware of from reading this blog, but it is a little too chewy for my tastes. But you do raise a good point. We did get Dream Warriors out of the deal.

JK: This movie introduces us to the smart ass Freddy which is very likable by the fans and it makes the movie fun. I love cheesy horror films like this that make you laugh and think oh good hell! *laughs*

Oh, and it has a lot of cool one liners:
"Kill for me!" 
"You have the body and I have the brains!"

KT: OH MY GOD. That scene made me HOWL.
Then again, I think the most I laughed was when Jessie is dancing around his room with those very 80's shades and baseball hat on. Admit it, if you were a child of the 80's (as I was) you did that shit. And you thought you were cool doing it.

QZ: *laughs hard* I loved that line.

JK: Are you kidding? I do that shit now and still think I'm pretty rad!

QZ: Like Jenny, I still dance around too! I don't need shades though.

KT: *cackles* We three should get up on the bed and start singing! "GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FREDDY..."

JK: Zena, the shades add to your super radness *chuckles*

QZ: Oh Kweeny, we should!

KT: My shades are made from babies tears.

JK: *snickers at Kweeny* And I can wear my Freddy shirt.

QZ: But I'm already SUPER rad! Too much radness may be an overdose.

KT: It's true, she is The Queen after all.

JK: Touche!

KT: *bows to her majesty.*

QZ: Thank you, thank you. *does the regal Queen hand wave*

KT: Okay, back to the movie. Let's talk about some of our favorite moments.

JK: What makes me laugh is how Jesse would talk to his dad. If I talked to my dad like that, I'd be in BIG trouble. *smirks*

KT: It's true! Man, I would have had my mouth slapped into another time zone for talking like that to my parents!

And WTF was with the bird? AM I RIGHT? THE BIRD WAS A WEIRD SCENE.

JK: I just got done with that scene *laughs* I was thinking the same thing. How the hell does the bird blow up? I was like, really??

KT: Because for the record readers, Jenny is so dedicated to this thing she is watching along as we write the review!

*evil grin* Oh noes! Daddy got scratched in the face by the killer exploding bird! Quick get the disinfectant!

JK: I don't care if people hate this movie. I LOVE it!!!

KT: And it loves you. With sweaty, moist love.

JK: And we'll make sweaty, moist babies! *smirks*

KT: Oh gods...someone get me the brain bleach stat! ZENA HELP ME WOMAN!

*Jenny rolls on the floor laughing at Kweeny's torment. Because only real friends laugh while you suffer. And of course, Zena is too busy trying to find booze in Kweeny's fridge to help her scrub the images of sweaty, moist babies from her mind. Kweeny eventually composes herself and continues.*

KT: Okay, Zena, what's your favorite moments from the film? *sits cross legged at The Queen's throne and listens*

QZ: I did like when the bird exploded for some reason...it was hilarious. *snickers* And I really, REALLY liked the pool party scene. Not only did have that 80's cheese feel to it but it was the most excitement in the movie. I did want more blood and gore but I'll take it...I guess!

KT: The pool scene...yeah it was the most exciting part of the film. You also felt like the film drags in parts huh?

QZ: It really did. I was just bored at times and I didn't want to be, but that's how it went. Freddy was cool and full of personality as ever but I wanted more.He wasn't on screen enough. I felt like this sequel made a bad name for sequels, because comparing it to the first one it was just an opposites towards something horrid!

KT: Exactly how I felt too! I mean, it's the second in a series, and just feels so out of place in the grand Freddy-verse.

QZ: Another thing, I kind of feel cheated by this movie with the title alone. "A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE" Umm...revenge?? Yeah, on your fans, sadly. It really was completely out of place.

KT: Hahaha too true! It reminds me a lot of what happened with Halloween 3.

JK: Every NOES sequel is Freddy's Revenge! *laughs*

QZ: Halloween 3...that's another one that ruined my soul.

KT: Don't get me wrong, I like the concept of Halloween 3, just like I like the concept of this movie. And they are by far not the worst movies I have ever seen. But the execution for both movies is just so WTF? Sometimes when movies take risks they pay off, but other times, we get Freddy's Revenge. And we watch Freddy make a stupid boring teenager all sweaty and whiny.

QZ: I enjoyed the other NOES but this one. It was too much. *snicker*

KT: Jenny, how did you feel about the half-hearted love story?

JK: It was a lot better then Twilight! *laughs*

KT: *chuckles, nods and claps* True! Very true! *passes Jenny the popcorn*

QZ: Nooo! I'm a fan of Twilight! I'm sucker for LOVE! Don't judge me!
 
KT: Totally judged! Also, am I the only one who was screaming at the screen, "Freddy, kill the stupid bitch so we all can go home!" Fuck the fucking love story! If I wanted a romantic comedy, I'd watch Chasing Amy.

...Wait, bad example.

QZ: *cackles* I was screaming...but at myself for watching the WHOLE thing.

JK: I really liked the love story since they bonded over trying to kill Freddy and they fell in love. It was really sweet. Love will never die!

KT: Yup, I was the only one. My heart has been a black husk since birth. Come on guys, Freddy isn't the love guru though! He's a fucking killer! I don't want to see Freddy couple's council!

JK: I do!!! That would be so bad ass! Freddy brings people together. He really does. *laughs*

QZ: I don't get how they fell in love. Between Jessie being a geek and his love interest always looking lost... I don't know, guys.

KT: Jenny, you know I love you because you're insane and make me look normal right?

JK: I do. :)

KT: YES! SAME HERE ZENA! They're love was forced to me. Like a last minute, "Oh hey, this film is boring let's make it a love story." The original Twilight. With claws.

QZ: Exactly! Random, needless love.

JK: Guys, it was beautiful. Even the love story between Jesse and Grady. *snickers*

KT: "Hey babe, I got a serial killer trying to devour my soul and make me kill my friends and family, but wanna go on a date?"

Sweet Sweaty Jeebus... YES LET US SPEAK OF THIS FUCKING SCENE PLEASE!

JK: I would totally say yes if I was Grady,"Someone is inside of me Grady!"

KT: That line is too easy. I am not going there. I have dignity, even if I stole it from someone else...

Okay Gals...Grady...What are your thoughts? Think he'd make a great boyfriend for Jessie Krueger? I personally don't think so. Freddy is too into the kinky sex.

*Zena bursts into laughter and we have to put her out with a fire extinguisher*

JK: I think the gym teacher was more of Freddy's type. The gym teacher had a fetish.....

QZ: *gets up after she recovers from her explosion, shaking her head* Poor Grady...

I think Freddy should have went for Lisa, Jesse's love interest. She was waaay too supportive.

KT: Bitch needed to die for sure. But Zena... ROPE BONDAGE!

JK: Nah. Freddy likes the timid bitches. Lisa was WAY too tough for him.

KT: Freddy's a Top.

JK: He likes to dominate not be dominated. Oh girls, I would take Freddy on top any day! *swoons*

*Zena tries to not explode in laughter again. It's hard on her crown* 

KT: Jenny, Freddy would run screaming from you.

JK: *steeples fingers* Muwahahahahaha!

QZ: Yeah, I think he would too! You guys would be a perfect match.

KT: Agreed. Jenny needs a blood-stained wedding gown and claw.

JK: Didn't you guys read my love letter to Freddy? We would make sweet dreams together.

KT: Hey, if Chucky can get married...

JK: It would be beautiful!

KT: I think I have read it Jenny! It was...special. * nervous laugh*

JK: "Lisa, he's inside of me!"

QZ: I think I have as well! Please let me a bridesmaid!

KT: I'm possessed by Sweeney Todd, so I can't really comment...

Oh me too! I wanna catch the bouquet of intestines!

JK: Of course you two will be my bridesmaids!

KT: YAY!

JK: "Fight it Jesse!"

Hahaha! I love these cheesy one liners...

KT:  Okay ladies, it's been fun, but we should wrap this up. How about you give a rating on a scale of 1-5 and describe why you give it that rating.

JK: Well, you already know what kind of rating I'm going to give...*snerk*

KT: Sexy, Sweaty, Man-Meat 5?

JK: Hahahaha! More like a 10! Ooooh baby!

KT: Oh Jenny, we will get you your meds very soon...

Zena?

QZ: For Jenny, since I appreciate her love for Freddy, and I love him too, I'll give it a 4 1/2. :}

It would have gotten a 2 honestly!

KT: Well isn't that just noble of you.

Why a 2?

QZ: It has no imagination for me. It lacked. Yes, it did bring us Dream Warriors. But I felt that Freddy was cool in it don't get me wrong. But the whole movie for me made no sense. Freddy is smooth yet he wants to possess a geek, a sweaty one with a desperate needy girlfriend who accepts EVERYTHING. Lie, you just met him!


KT: I know why Jenny wants a 10, and I will feed her some happy pills now and put her back in her straight jacket.

JK: You know what, I like my sweaty men!

QZ: *laughs* Also, there were elements in the movie that didn't fit but they were good ideas. I don't know if it was rushed or if the writing just sucked.

KT: *nods* Agreed. I think The Queen and I have the same opinion on this movie, despite how awesome Jenny's love for Freddy is. Your love is beautiful Jenny, and I wish you many serial killing children from your union.

JK: I would give it a 10 because I love Freddy no matter what and this movie was laugh out loud funny. The acting, the one liners, gay innuendo  the introduction to smart ass Freddy. I usually like movies a lot of people hate and I'm okay with that. I did enjoy the screenplay and how it played out.

QZ: So sadly...overall it's just a 4 for me. It wasn't my favorite NOE and I don't recommend it as a film. I think if someone wanted to watch the whole series they could, but I would say they could skip this one.

JK: Awe shucks!

QZ: You have my well wishes too Jenny! I won't babysit though.

JK: Party pooper.

KT: I didn't bother bringing up the music as it was the 80's and you gotta forgive it for the time period. Everyone thought they were cool with all that big hair.

JK: The bigger the hair the more I care!

KT: I get nostalgic to tell you the truth.

QZ: I actually loved the music and the big hair. I'm a fan of the 80's style!

KT: I was such a baby bat then.

JK: Me too!

KTL WOO! Baby bat fist bump! *fistbumps Jenny and they have a gothic bromance moment.*

QZ: Me three...well Queen. :|

*And the room is full of gothic bromance. Hugs all around!*

JK: I was born in the beginning of '88 so I was a 90's child. I do love every thing about the 80's.

KT: This has been am amazing treat, thank you both for joining me! Come back anytime to watch something awful with me. I hate watching this shit alone.

JK: One last thing. I love you, Freddy's Revenge!! You have a special place in my heart.

QZ: Aww, Jenny...



KT: And it will always love you too my friend! I'm going to go gorge myself on Jenny's wedding cake and have a sugar coma.

QZ: Yum! I wanna join you!

JK: Oh Kweeny, you gush! *chuckles*

QZ: Thank you for having me, Kweeny! It was awesome! I look forward to more horrible horrors in my life time!

JK: Yes, thank you Kweeny. I enjoyed reviewing this WONDERFUL movie. Even though you two are a bunch of haters!

KT: Haters gonna hate Jenny. Just love what you love. ;)

QZ: *laughs hard*

KT: It was an honor ladies. You're blogs are spectacular and so are you both! Readers, check out The Real Queen of Horror and Memoirs of a Scream Queen. I only hang out with royalty like myself you know! ;)



5 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! This is so awesome! It turned out great. Thanks again for doing this review. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aw, I wanna be caught in a gothic bromance with you all!
    This was such a fun review. Like Jenny, I love this movie too. It's my least favorite NOES though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You three are so cute! :D This was a fun review!

    ReplyDelete
  4. *sings* "Oh yes, it's ladies night..."

    Haha, you seemed to have one helluva fun. Highly entertaining "review" :-)

    ReplyDelete

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