Friday, 25 November 2011

In Kweeny's Magic Gory Kingdom...

For me, a holiday season is not complete without terrible horror to make fun of tradition. It's just how we roll in the Magic Gory Kingdom. So we celebrated Thanksgiving in style, by eating way too much, laughing and watching Thankskilling. I don't think my friends and hubby are going to forgive me for subjecting them to that movie. It was pretty terrible.

You know the movie is classy when it's slogan is "Gobble, Gobble, MOTHERFUCKER!" Seriously. The movie opens with a pair of tits filling the screen and the killer turkey yelling, "Nice tits bitch!" before killing her. I shit you not. The fucking bird is the crappiest puppet I ever seen:

I can't make this crap up.

Now, I've seen Poultrygeist too, and it is actually a better grade of crap in my opinion than this piece of ass-meat I watched. It might be my loyalty to Troma, but in all honesty I just like that film better. It's still campy like Thankskilling, but I found it less lazy. Camp doesn't have to be lazily done to be funny. Should have probably watched it instead to get in the holiday spirit. But at least they were not taking themselves seriously while making this piece of tripe. I don't think they gave a shit at all in my opinion, which is kinda a saving grace. They couldn't even keep plot lines straight. Who was the slut in this picture? Why was the fat-bastard-guy suddenly best friends with the geek-guy once he was dead? I'm pretty sure the fat-bastard character hated the geek. And yes, I don't know their names. I'm sure they didn't know each other's names. Either people in the film don't know who they are, or the actors who I am convinced were mostly porn stars trying to act, didn't give a shit about the scripts because they weren't getting paid to care. But there are tits, gore and a vulgar puppet who kills people. Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's the trailer for those of you who are morbidly curious and love the most terrible of horror movies:

But seriously, I hope you readers had a great Thanksgiving. I got to celebrate it twice because I'm Canadian. Which is fine by me. Just means I get lots of pumpkin pie. And if you don't know by now, I -LOVE- pumpkin pie.

Stay Classy Horrorverse and Gobble, Gobble, Motherfucker!


  1. I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving, it sounds it though. Next year I'm having my own British Thanksgiving, less pilgrims more Turkey haha.

    That film looks terrible...I must see it.

  2. This movie is so bad it's good! Ridiculously crass and rude, but I just love the jive-talkin' killer turkey! A must-see for me every Thanksgiving.

  3. It seems like a funny movie that i would like to watch with friends lol

  4. It's pretty epic in the scale of horrible guys! Funny as all hell for sure, but seriously terrible. The turkey's potty mouth is almost as bad as my own! LOL!

  5. I didn't make it through this one. The opening was my kind of stupid, but I just couldn't stomach the characters.

    Speaking of bad holiday horror, is it a stupid question to ask whether you've seen Silent Night Deadly Night 2? A very, very entertaining piece of crap.

  6. I felt the same about Thankskilling. The characters were too shallow and empty. I know what they were trying to do, which was pretty much nothing, but still. It was hard to watch this film sometimes because it was trying too hard to be terrible.

    I haven't seen the Silent Night movies. I plan to watch them for Creepmas and write scathing reviews. :)


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