Sunday, 26 February 2012

Monster Mavens: The Queen's of Kweeny's Horror

So I'm a contrarian who understands the difference between a woman and a female. Since this is Women in Horror month, and I've been watching a little too much of RuPaul's Drag Race, I figure I should give a shout out to my drag sisters of horror RuPaul style! I know they are usually portrayed as crazy bitches, and in truth, there is a little crazy in every Drag Queen. Not to the point of killing mind you, but horror is all about playing with stereotypes. It's what we got to work with in the genre after all. Part of why horror is great is because it throws those over the top stereotypes in your face and makes you see them for what they really are: Ridiculous baby!

Let's finish this with a BANG Okay honey?

As RuPaul would say: Gentlemen start your engines! And may the best women...KILL!
(Okay so I changed it a bit, this is Kweey Todd's Drag Race after all.)

 Kweeny Todd's Top Queen's of Horror:

3. Angela Barker: Sleepaway Camp

Now Honey, we all got issues. But Angela's got subscriptions! This bitch convinces us she is all woman, but she's more girl than woman. Her look is too damsel in distress. I am NOT into that really. The big reveal however is a nice touch. Back in the day that took the judges by storm. We saw that little girl, already one crazy bitch who kills people, just standing there with her weenie hanging out and our jaws dropped! Good on her for being a fierce Queen!

2. Norman Bates: Psycho 

Norman Bates here is a classic. Gotta give her props for that. She brought the glamour of murder to the runway back in the black in white days. Mmm hmmm! Now that took balls. *wink* Of course, dressing like your mother isn't really that fashionable if you ask me. I would have loved to see Norman use more glitter and sparkles honey. That would have looked fabulous with the blood splattered shower curtain!

1. Frankenfurter: Rocky Horror

Of course, there is only one true winner in Kweeny Todd's Drag Race. One Queen who shines above the rest. My doll here Frankenfurter. Girl WORKED IT! I mean she has style, sass, and was a real pain in the ass! *wink* Who doesn't love a mad doctor who knows how to wear fishnet, heels and a corset! Corsets will always win this gal's heart. So to you my feisty, sexy Queen: Hold your head high Frankenfurter. You are a Horror Diva!

Honorary Mention: 

Dressed To Kill: Bobbi

I mention this Queen because she stirred controversy. She made the critics stand up and take notice, and that is quite the achievement. What Queen doesn't make people notice her? Am I right? I mean sure, her drag left a bad taste in people's mouths, and made many trans people furious when they saw it. I can see why, believe me. But sometimes your dress fails and sometimes the wig won't stay on your head right. As long as you walk on that stage and kill a few people, you're not any less crazy than the rest of these Horror Queens. And this bitch has a straight razor! You know Kweeny loves that shit!

I'd also love to see a Diva be more fierce in a horror movie. Portrayed the way Queen's actually are. I really would. I'd like to see one that is less about gimmicks and more about the fact Queen's are just people who dress better. Can I get an AMEN up in here?

And that concludes the Kween's pick of Queens. And remember readers, If you can't love your horror, how the WORLD are you gonna love being scared?

*Kweeny struts off stage, wiggling her butt*


  1. First off, RuPaul is SUCH a better woman than I am, and I irritated my parents with her music all the damn time. I have Supermodel on my ipod right now. It is awesome warm up music for a run.

    Secondly, lay off my Frank-n-furter. That bitch is mine. *swoon* You don't even want to know the scandalous behavior I have gotten into over Frank-n-furter costumes that I was not wearing.

  2. I still prefer Bobbi. I mean, you nailed everything about that's worth mentioning...but then again, oh God, it's Furter, mate! How could we compete with that?!

  3. If you do a list for next Feb adding Alex Hammond from prom night (the original), and Coco from after dark's film Mulberry street would be awesome!


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