Sunday, 12 February 2012

Monster Mavens: Women Who Deserve Valentine's

For today's Monster Maven's post I thought I'd do something a little different. Since Valentine's day is fast approaching, I thought I'd write an article based on the premise of women I want to be my girlfriends in horror films. Girls I'd date in a heart beat. I don't really celebrate this holiday in any traditional sense, as I believe you should show those you love how much you love them everyday of the year. Rotting teeth with sap is not my style, unless you like your sap covered in spikes. But what the hell, I'm feeling shmoopy. My hubby has been so nice to me lately when I hurt my neck (and I hurt it pretty bad...) and I am doped up, so I am feeling loving. FEEEEL THE KWEENY LOVE JUICE!

Here is a list of my top 5 favourite babes of horrorland. Women who kick so much ass that if I ever met them, I'd probably be so intimated by their raw awesome I'd gibber incoherently in their presence. Some ladies just have the full package. Maybe if I send them Valentine's day love they won't eat my heart like over-priced crappy chocolate. Maybe.


Ripley is from the Alien franchise, which is one of the coolest sci-fi horror movie franchises I have ever encountered. I'm not a huge sci-fi buff, so I am very picky about what I watch. But this woman, played by Sigourney Weaver, is awesome. She has sex appeal, is strong, independent, and willing to stand up for what she believes in.  She has a mothering instinct that isn't over done when she takes little Newt under her wing. She also turns into one creepy, scary bitch when she is cloned with the alien blood in her veins....

She can snuggle me anytime. 

 #4 LUZ (aka: Shé)

Let me start by saying I love Michelle Rodriguez. I don't think she gets enough screen time. She's been in several films, but I think if I have to choose one film I love her best in, I'd have to say it's Machete. While Machete is more exploitation film than horror, it's gory enough that I'm gonna add it to my list. Michelle's portrayal of the ass-kicking Luz only gets more awesome as the film progresses. Once she gets that eye patch rocking, she's unstoppable. You can wound the girl, but she will just keep coming, and with a bigger gun!



In case you don't know this, Halloween was the first taste of horror I ever had. Laurie is played by Jamie Lee Curtis, who went on to do more Halloween films and other awesome horror stuff. But her portrayal of Laurie has always stayed with me. She is the ying to Mike Myers yang. She grows stronger with every encounter, and that strength is inspiring. She also aged well. If only we all could age so gracefully.

Girl, you make grey look GOOD.


The Return of the Living Dead series had some awesome women in it. My favourite in particular is Julie from #3. Julie is bitten and turns into a zombie as a movie progresses, but to fight loosing her humanity she does some...modifications. To me they only made her look more amazing. Because the pain kept her human, she had little choice in the matter. But she sure knew how to place the mods! 

I'd ask her to dance but I might get some of those sharp bits caught on my tender flesh.


Dren is this unique little human-hybrid creature from the movie Splice. She starts off as this adorable critter, with bizarre features that draw the audience in. Our curiously about what she is only matches her curiosity about the world. She quickly grows up though. She goes from this...

into this...her male form: 


Dren is a spectaluar creature to me, not just for her gender switching abilities. She has a delicate side to her, as well as the vicious animal side. I love the questions Dren leaves me with, as well as how I can't take my eyes off her when she's on screen.

There is nothing more attractive than someone who challenges you.

So ladies, will you be my bloody Valentine? My husband won't mind. Just try to not get too many teeth marks on my heart. It regenerates slowly these days.


  1. Great list! I was hoping to see Ms. Strode in there - she might be my #1...cheers!


    I do adore Ripley, and she's one of those characters I channel when I need an extra bit of oomph. Read somewhere that Sigourney Weaver would love to revive the franchise, but the Powers That Be doubt the drawing power of a middle aged female in this sort of role. Ripley is Effable, so she's saleable too. Stupid Hollywood.

    Alice from Resident Evil makes this list for me as well. Pop those movies in for inspiration all the time, and you are right- Michelle rocks that one as well. Selene from Underworld is inspirational, but only when I need to get on the treadmill. If I looked like that in that outfit, I'd wear it to the freaking grocery store.

    This is an AWESOME post, and I'd love to see it as a recurring feature! Powerful women! Yea! *runs slowly away from the monsters in lingerie and heels, also never bothers fighting back*

  3. Dig the list. I have never seen (nor barely heard of) Splice, so I'll rectify that oversight soon.


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