The Best Email I Have Gotten In Ages

I get lots of emails about all sorts of things as a blogger. Sometimes people feel the need to share their opinions about something I've written privately. Now, most times I just get stupid spam, but today I got an email about the New Evil Dead that made my day. I love being a blogger sometimes. I thought I'd share it with you:

Dood dood dood dood dood dood dood dood.

Okay...so if they ended the movie with everyone waking up and being fine because the whole thing was a heroin-withdrawal-induced hallucination, then that would have been a total bullshit ending and it would have been facking terrible.

Which is exactly why they DIDN'T do it.

Which is exactly why the whole movie was about her heroin-withdrawal hallucinations.

Totally hear me out, here. I'm totally right. I totally knows it for shizzlezlizzles.

Totally.

Okay...so right from the get-go, the first thing we see after the dude with hair and glasses reads from the Necronomicon, is the girl in the white(ish) dress...and that's the thing that rapes Mia. No tree rape, because they are being clear about the demon coming from within her. The trees were just, like...helping. Oh! Just thought of this now...when they check her over the first time, the nurse concludes that she may have rolled into the thorns herself. The demon has possessed her. But they can't come out and say that the demon is heroin, because, again, that would be terrible.

But there is a decently established mythological link between heroin and hell. And the first thing she does is drop the heroin down the well (to hell?). And it is the devil (Shaitan, in this case) that comes after her.

Now! The group of friends totally failed her the year before. They gave up on her after 8 hours. So from that point on, each one of them gives up on her, one after the other.

The first one to go is the one who is presented as the strong one, which makes total sense from a story-perspective...the strong one goes down first. Best part of that? (I'm so on a roll, here) Her strength and badassery was a total facade and she knew it, so her self-image was destroyed. So how did she go? By shattered mirror, bitchez! Totally.

This awesome trend of hidden cause continues with random blonde whose name I really, really can't remember (I think the dude with hair and glasses was Eric?). She goes next, and she does the perfect "oh, you poor thing routine" as she would have in the real world (because she was ridiculously awkward)...she gets full on bit and I would be willing to guess that in the real world, she was actually bitten. Afterwards, she gets fixated on her wound and the terrible feelings that coursed through her would have come from that bite. She then would have tried to convince her boyfriend to give up on Mia and take her back. Hence the scene where she's kicking the shit out of the two guys. The hot blonde is hurt and the two guys are having difficulty maintaining their resolve.

All the while, demon-her is cackling with joy at the way the group is in-fighting.

Now...actually strong guy goes last, which also fits, story-wise, since he was the one portrayed as weak. But the brother never gives up on her. He ends up destroying the last vestiges of the memory of their mother, which, one assumes, is the reason she would have turned to that level of escapism in the first place, though again it is unsaid.

The first thing that happens after she dumps the heroin, is that she tries to start spiraling ..she bring up their mom. She is also trying to push him away, because she knows that he will keep her from giving up. She says, "Mom is not a sad memory" ...showing that she does not want to give up the heroin. At the end, the lullaby doesn't stop him from killing her, it stops him from giving up on her. He burns the cabin down because it is the last vestige of the memory of their mother. At the same time he takes himself out of the equation so she can face her demon alone.

And, obviously, her demon is just herself. And she puts a chainsaw in her mouth.

And then all we get is sunshine at the end, because anything else would have been awful.

I'm totally right about this. Toooooooooootally.

Also, hope yer keeping well.

Thanks for listening (sort of) to my ramble.

Later, yo!

(tiny amusing detail - the Shaitan in the book has a candle on his head. This is Light Bearer, but also, heroin candle.)

Signed,

~elsewhere underscore