In Kweeny's Gory Kingdom...

Things have been a bit crazy lately. But mostly in the most awesome of ways. Not only did I acquire a signed copy of a Troma comic, I finally made the decision to get into making indie films of my own. So the irony of being given a signed Troma comic book seems like serendipity...

Squeee! Thanks Merlin! Gonna frame this puppy!

Inspiration sparked rather suddenly a few days ago, when I saw this video:

And I said out loud for once for all to see, "Kinda inspires me to try and make a movie..."

Now, I've said it before, but only half heartedly. Never really seriously. And mostly just to myself. This time, people jumped on it, and said, "Yes, yes you should!" and I actually let the idea sit inside me instead of pushing it away as fantasy.

It may seem on the outside like a "snap" decision. Like I just took this up on a whim suddenly. And I'm sure for some film makers, it's exactly like that. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Some of the best shit ever created was done on a whim. But for me, this was more like a revelation. Like finally realizing what you've always wanted to do but never let yourself believe.

I've spent my whole life being a storyteller in one form or another. I am obsessed with telling stories. I have been since I was a wee thing and would put on performances in my grandmother's living room, hamming it up and telling everyone fantastic yarns. It's where I shine the brightest. It's what makes me the happiest. So I have been trying to find just the prefect medium to tell my tales with. I grew up a music lover, but realized after I trained for years to be an opera singer and got rejected from the Conservatory of Music in Toronto, that the stage was not for me. I wrote plays in high school, but hated being on stage. I was okay with minor rolls, but I never liked lead rolls. Avoided them like the plague. But I LOVED writing scripts. I loved directing and doing back stage work. Loved helping to create the tale from behind the scenes more than being a character in it. And I've done short story and novel writing. None of my novels to date have been published, but I have credits as a short story writer, horror journalist and editor. I do love writing novels and short pieces, don't get me wrong. I probably will always come back to it too. But I remember the day in college (I studied Professional Writing, and got to taste all flavors of storyteller) when I got to study Film and Script writing. I had a BLAST. I wrote a feature horror film, totally in the vein of Troma films, and loved it. I slaved over the thing like I was possessed. I was deeply in love and didn't know it.

And if you have been reading this blog for a while, then you know I have a love for film. A deep love, even when I am tearing a film apart. My favourite films swing between really deep, horrific pieces like May, Ginger Snaps, or Martyrs to Troma-B-Movie shlock like Troll 2, Critters, Cannibal: The Musical!, etc.

Of course there is my Horror musical obsession, but I digress... 

I just could not let myself ever consider the idea of even trying to be a film maker. I wasn't ready to dare. Wasn't safe enough in my personal life. I didn't have the connections or support I do now to truly venture into this friggen scary world. But I am ready now.

And most of all, it makes me feel hungry again.

My husband yesterday said to me that once I decided to "finally make a movie" things made more sense to him. Things I have done without thinking about it. Like how I write, why I write. The movies I love. The people I admire. The obsessions I have. He said, "You're stories are written from a 3rd person, non-omniscient point of view. As if they were being told through the lens of a camera." I think I've secretly in my heart of hearts wanted to be a filmmaker. I just...never let myself believe it.

So, with the help of a rag-tag group of fellow dreamers who believe in me, I'm going to start my very own first short indie horror film! For fun! For a lark! Because I dare and fucking can! Because it might actually turn out good, or maybe it will be hilariously horrible! Either way, I want to try!

So there it is! In writing! 

Let's see how far this phoenix can fly.