Monday, 7 October 2013


Half of what I watched today was a waste of my life. I tried to console myself with Whiskey, more Cinnful Angry Orchard cider, and some Oreos. Mostly I just made myself tipsy enough I didn't give two fucks what I was watching. Plus I was productive and multi-tasked during the crap movies by making larp gear for my husband.

So what did I end up watching?

BARRIO TALES (84 mins/2012)

Kweeny's Rating: Tacos Anyone?

Summary: Okay, so for a movie that has drugs, murder and cannibalism, it's pretty tame. And while it is very obvious that one of the stories in this film does have cannibalism in it, and we DO see someone die, it's not really impressive. I dunno what to call it really, as it has a bunch of cool ideas and shitty execution of them. Oh well. It made me want tacos real bad. Not sure I would get bonus points here, but honestly, it doesn't matter.

BATTLE ROYALE (114 mins/2000)

Kweeny's Rating: KILL THEM ALL!

Summary: I love this film. It's a twisted premise that the Hunger Games can't even touch. I know people have compared the two, but they are nothing alike. For one thing, I have seen both, and I prefer Battle Royale for multiple reasons. One of the main ones is the violence levels are way more extreme and realistic to me. No bonus points really but it was a nice escape from the crappy Barrio movie.

13 ASSASSINS (141mins/2010)

Kweeny's Rating: Warrior Badass-a-tude

Summary: WILD CARD BONUS FOR TAKASHI MIIKE! AH YEAH! Plus this movie has full frontal nudity in the most creepy of ways! So Bonus Points there! And to top it off, it's an awesome film full of carnage, revenge, duty and harakiri. Man, like two or three guys off themselves!

DEAD OF WINTER (100 mins/2008)

Kweeny's Rating: Snow Balls Chance In Hell

Summary: Why did I watch this? If my husband didn't ask me to help craft larp weapons for him, I would have fallen asleep. AND DON'T QUOTE BETTER MOVIES IN YOUR SHIT MOVIE! Quoting The Shining only made me want to WATCH it! Just because you say your movie is "Based on actual events" doesn't mean it makes it better. In fact, I wanted to take LSD just to get through the movie and was envious the characters didn't share their drugs with me. Bastards. I think you need to be on drugs to even care that this movie was made.

Now to dig out some more horror for tomorrows torture... I mean pleasure. I think I will watch The Shining with my husband as he's never seen it before.

Yeah I know. He's known me this long and never seen it. I have failed him as a wife, but I will fix my folly tomorrow.


  1. Never saw any of these and probably won't. :(

  2. ...*feels shocked* Really! He hasn't watched it! (Feels odd that there's any movie I've seen that anyone I know hasn't.....) >.>

    That said I want to watch 13 Assassins. Somehow never get around to it though.


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