Kweeny Invades like An Elder God In Your Panties Drawer...

So if you have been paying attention to my constant babble about my husband (Yeah I am stupidly in love and still in the newly wed phase. DON'T JUDGE ME!) then you know by now I'm Canadian married to an American. Not only that, I'm moving to America to be with him. It was a hard choice for me, because I love my Canada. But I love him more. We do the last steps this week to get my visa so I can go back with him and build a life like normal married couples do. Well...as normal as we weirdos can be I suppose.

Us just married in 2009. We are disgustingly cute, I know. I REGRET NOTHING!

But in case you are curious I'll tell you a little more of our tale before I disappear to complete this process for the next few weeks. I will be back my dear readers. No worries.

Here's the quick rundown: For 2 years we've been apart off and on, trying to get through the hoops of immigration that I swear, Cthulhu himself couldn't decipher. And he's an Elder God of madness. You'd think he'd understand the madness that is bureaucratic hell, but no. It's not so simple.

2 years of paperwork, thousands of dollars of fees and still...all I am getting this week is my temp visa so I can do the rest from the US. Every time I finish a stage in the process I feel like a super hero.

Wonder Woman's got nothing on me. And I think my whips of excruciating torment trump her lasso of justice!

So it's been quite the ride. We've been waiting a long time for this day. By the end of the week I will know for absolute fucking certainty that I am going home with my baby. Home is where ever he is. And I wanna be there.

This is why I made a Canadian Content section, to be honest readers. I wanted to have a piece of home still with me. It will help inspire me to connect to my country I will miss and love, and make me feel still in the loop. Kweeny is gonna miss her Canada and the awesome stuff that lives there. Like beavers.

So I'm off to take care of business, and try to not fret myself into a coma with stress. YAY! My Bear is in the sky right now, and soon I will hold him and we will take on the world. Like Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney...Or Mr. Lovett and Kweeny. *smirks*

I promise not to kill him though. He knows his place.

And before I go, I must share this amazing picture that made me howl my face off. It will probably only entertain me that much, but that's because I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. And I am not even a permanent Resident yet. I'm still working on that part:

Best picture EVER.

See you soon folks. Will post as soon as I get time. <3

Monster Mavens

 I wanted to start this section before I go on hiatus, because then I have all my special sections already rolling for you readers. I’m rather proud that I have been on the internet for 13 days and I have made quite a few fans. Thanks guys. You rock my blogging world! I feel like a big girl now. *beams*

 This particular section is going to be one of my feature ones, like my Wicked Weapons posts. Here we will discuss the women that impact horror. And while I plan to do a few interviews and showcases of several talented women in the genre, I also want to alternate with showcases of monstrous women icons-- like the one I plan to write about today. I’m not one to cheer on the victims in horror, and most times women are portrayed as victims. Nor do I care about the heroines. I’m all about the villains, the monsters, the misunderstood outcasts. They are my people. Always have been, always will be.

So here I will not only honour my fellow Horrorista’s, but my kindred spirits of the dark. Be they creators of the beast, or the beast themselves.

 Today’s Monster Maven is none other than the classic damsel, The Bride of Frankenstein.

 “She’s alive. ALIVE!"

 I think she’s beautiful. Terrible. Heart-breaking. Dangerous. Forced into an existence by Fate’s twisted whims, the longing of a monster and the hand of a mad scientist. Mary Shelley created the legend of Frankenstein with her book that was first published anonymously in London in 1818, then later in France under her name in 1823. She is one of the most influential female horror writers ever, in my opinion. When people say women can’t write horror, I point at this woman. She can write you under the table, FOOL!

 And because of Shelly’s masterpiece, we now have the Bride herself. She was spawned from Universal Studios' need to expand on the Frankenstein mythos, and so they produced the 1935 movie The Bride of Frankenstein. When Boris Karloff cemented the fame of the Monster with his amazing portrayal, people wanted more. They were hungry for the story to continue, and so the idea of the Bride was born.

 Elsa Lancheste is the first to play a portrayal of the Bride, solidifying her into the mythos as if Shelley wrote her in herself. She makes the Bride an iconic figure, mated for the monster and uniquely her own abomination. From the first moment we see her wrapped in gauze, and her eyes peak from the bandages, we are drawn in. We watch them slowly unveil her, and then her hair stands on end and her eyes widen like a new born seeing the light for the first time. They drape her in a sheet but it makes her look like a regal Queen of the undead. Her movements are like a baby bird, with her jerking head scanning everything. She’s retained her beauty despite what she’s become, and the Monster wants nothing more than to create a friendship with her, so he can quench some of his deep loneliness and pain.

But she rejects him. Twice.


 Not only that, but she screams in his face, and in that moment that scream told you everything you needed to know about her relationship to the monster, and the relationship to herself and the situation at hand. No words were needed. Just that primal scream, that shriek of absolute horror. That scream cuts right to the quick, and I still get chills when I hear it. It’s monstrous, hideous and expresses so much emotion you can’t help but feel for her plight.

 Another wonderfully done portrayal of the Bride is in the 1994 movie version of Frankenstein. The Bride is brought back through Victor’s wife, and is played by Helena Bonham Carter. I adore her as an actress. She does monstrous women so well. Maybe because she is just a damn fine creepy bitch. She’s not a standard Hollywood beauty. To me, she’s more real looking than most of the Hollywood dames that grace the screen nowadays.

 And she’s an amazing actress. She brings such agony and exquisite torment to the Monster-Bride relationship. This part is slightly different than the Bride of Frankenstein. The Bride in the original movie rejected the monster right away. In this one, she remembers her old life with Victor, and feels slight kinship with the Monster. But since she is torn between the two, she kills herself, setting herself on fire so she doesn’t have to choose.

 The Bride was never meant to be in Shelley’s book, despite the fact it adds richness to the story. In the original book there is no creation of a female monster. In the time period the book was made, it was almost unheard of for women to even write horror. The pacing is much better in the book than the movies and we have more time to explore the characters. The fact that the 1994 movie is called Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein means they were attempting to adapt the book. If they were truly doing so, they wouldn't have added the Bride’s subplot that was not created by Shelly, but by Universal Studios. I think they should have not tried so hard to be the book, because clearly, it was just a different version of the story. But if you ignore their somewhat failed attempt at linking it to the novel, it’s a good movie all on its own. The movie hits all the highlights and explores the themes beautifully.

 The injection of the character of the Bride only adds more richness to the mythos of Victor Frankenstein, in my opinion. Each retelling of the tale is different, and they deal with issues like playing god, being ostracized, loneliness, rejection, fear of the unknown, death and rebirth. Her beauty, and the horrors she both experiences and creates, left her a legacy in the Frankenstein mythology that will never be forgotten. From that pale face and tall hair, to the screaming creature on fire, she makes us face the beauty, and horror of reanimated life. Perhaps if I was forced to choose between the life of a monster forced to have her only companion be another monster, I too would kill myself...

OH HECK NO. That Monster man be a FINE husband for sure! Just check me and my boi out on Halloween last year:

See, now that’s true romance folks. *wink*

Blog Events and Awards

Past Blog Events:

http://annie-walls-author.blogspot.com/2012/03/may-monster-madness.html

http://memoirsofascreamqueen.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/legacy-his-name-was-jason.html

http://www.womeninhorrormonth.com/

http://www.countdowntohalloween.com/

http://creepmas.blogspot.com/ 

http://www.ghosthuntingtheories.com/

TRIBUTES:

Kweeny Reviews...

The Book: A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K. Hamilton

Sometimes you just find something that is a guilty pleasure. A dark indulgence that you don’t want to admit you enjoy, but gosh darn it, you do. It’s like eating candy corn when everyone around you thinks candy corn is gross. My husband was insistent I read the Merry Gentry series, after I told him I read up to book two in the Anita Blake series by Hamilton and just gave up, tossing the book across the room in disgust at her crappy research skills and bad writing style. Laughing Corpse just pissed me off, because to me it had so much potential to be a good story, but I couldn’t get past the fact she blended Santeria with Voudon.

SIDE NOTE: Kweeny Todd in real life is deeply spiritual and studies mythology and world religions with great passion. So she gets irked when writers are lazy with their mythos and spirituality in books. It’s a pet peeve she knows is silly and only bugs her really, as most readers probably don’t even know what those two religions are and why mixing them is such a big deal. Sure, they sound similar, but they are NOT THE SAME THING. If a person is described as VOUDON then they should not be doing practices that are SANTERIA. And Kweeny knew the difference, thus she can get all pissy while reading. And so the ritual of tossing the book away like it was kryptonite to her sensibilities happens. You’ll find she tosses books quite often in fits of rage when they do things she is not pleased with. She’s a very passionate reader. For the curious, here is a short article about the differences in the two religions and more people screwing it up.

But since he said he’d read it to me over the phone to put me to bed (living apart means you find creative ways to connect. And who doesn’t like being read to by someone who loves them?) I gave in. It was like having a book on tape.

And honestly, bad writing aside, its pretty good candy corn. Hamilton shines the most in her writing when she is describing sex. It’s just a fact. The sex is the main reason you’d ever read a book of hers. Several times when things were getting hot and heavy I was clawing at the sheets, because well...I missed my husband. And he was reading sexy shit to me. And unlike Anita Blake, which only later in the series get’s smutty (of course I had given up reading the series before it “gets good.” As my friends would tell me) from almost the start A Kiss of Shadows is full of sex and danger.

The basic premise is this: Magical beings intermingle with humans and have a muddy co-existence going on. Merry Gentry, our boobilicious heroine, is a half-sidhe half-human princess of the Unseelie court. She is in hiding at the start of the book because her aunt the Queen wants her dead. So she is working for this detective agency solving magical crimes and trying to stay hidden with her own personal glamour spells. She gets on this one case were women were being exploited magically and sexually, and she gets magically raped on the case with the use of an enchanted oil. There is a scene I did enjoy in the police station where she tells off a cop who is giving her the third degree about not “looking like a rape victim.” This happens way too much in real life. Also I don't really like reading rape stories, but the way this was done it almost took the sting out of it. Maybe it was the use of magic that did it. I don't know. And I don't know if I like that the writer took the sting out of the scene with magic. It also gets funny when the magical oil that is covered on her body gets all over the cops and they get all aroused by magic. It’s like a supernatural humpfest for a while there. 

Of course all this leads to her being found again by people she didn’t want to find her, all of which are males, all of which wanna hump her in some fashion, and she gets brought back to her aunt the Queen. She finds out only later on that her aunt has been looking for her not to kill her, but wants her for something. Hmmm...what could that be?

I won’t spoil it for those who might be reading right now. But I will say that this book is a better book than the two Anita Blake books I tried to read. Her style is less lazy, but still not great by any means. No flowery language here folks. It's an easy read, which is good for fluffy smut. I think the fact that the fae creatures within have different standards for what is moral makes it easier to believe all the sex going on. I love the different fae creatures in it. I’m a sucker for monstrous fairies.  There’s a few horrific scenes of fae magic used for terrible means, like when one is turned inside out by what is refered to as “The Hand of Power” and the poor creature would be stuck like that forever if Merry didn’t brutally butcher the thing. And I mean she hacks the thing into pieces. She has no choice. The creature is fae and doesn’t die easily.

And seriously, the main reason you’d ever read the book is because it’s hawt. Damn hawt. I’d like to see a little less of one girl several guys action, but that’s just me. Variety is the spice of life. How about guy on guy or girl on girl action?

Does this qualify for horror? I’d say almost. Dark Fiction at best. There are some pretty disturbing scenes, and some creepy creatures (with tentacles even), but it’s not horrific enough. I enjoy it like I am enjoying a good bag of popcorn, slathered in magical oil to make me wanna hump my husbands face off. But it’s no prime rib steak. But you can’t eat prime rib all the time.

Genre Talk: Evil Dead Remake

I wasn't going to get on the bandwagon of people going on about the remake, but what the hell. I need a distraction. I got 5 days until I see my husband. Let's make them worthwhile. (I am counting down the days. You do that when you've had an LDR for two years with your husband)

So from everything I have read, the film is green-lighted. Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are involved. Bruce is having a cameo role I hear. Diablo Cody is writing the script, and I don't really know how I feel about that. I know Cody has done some good stuff, like Juno which I did enjoy, and Jennifer's Body wasn't that bad. First-time feature director Fede Alvarez stepping behind the camera. It's being produced through Ghost House Pictures. So this is really happening folks.


And I know, lots of people on horror forums, blogs, etc. are freaking out. Total meltdowns. I don't think it really needs to be a big deal. Remakes happen all the time. Sure, most of them suck greasy-weasel-balls, but there are some good remakes out there. One that comes to mind for me is the Dawn of the Dead remake. I thought it was bad ass! And I loved they used the music of Johnny Cash to open the movie. The Cash is the man.

Tell me that's not a bad ass opening!


And if you think about it, the first Evil Dead got remade with the second movie Evil Dead 2. It was just a rehashing of the first one but expanded. Evil Dead is one of those franchises that honestly, only a tool would screw up. It may not have the same humor to it, but Bruce "The Chin" Campbell is involved in the film, so I have some hope. Besides, if Cody keeps the elements of horror/comedy in tact then who knows? Could be a fun time. Because despite the fact the original wasn't meant to be funny, it was. And we fans expect funny from the Evil Dead franchise now.


Maybe I'm too optimistic, but I doubt this remake is gonna be the end of the world. Seriously guys. No cutting down the film until you see it. At least I won't be. I like to attempt to experience something first before I give it a horrible review. I've sat through some ridiculous crap before. Like the Twilight Movie. I think I can handle a remake of Evil Dead. 


If they can make Evil Dead: The Musical awesome, I'll give the remake of a beloved old corny classic a chance. Though I'll level with you readers, I'm a Musical Junkie. It takes work for a musical to make me hate it. 

PS: For Twitter dorks like me ​Bruce Campbell is officially on Twitter (@GroovyBruce). In case you didn't know.

Wicked Weapons: The Straight Razor

Ah, my first Wicked Weapons post! Of course, this blog is gonna be filled with firsts for a long time yet, but that means everything is new and shiny!

This section is going to be a regular column I do every couple Wednesdays or so. I thought about doing it every Wednesday and realized I don’t want to feel obligated to produce content. I just want to write blogs when the mood strikes, so that way there is quality over quantity. If I happen to do lots of blogs, which is the current trend, great, but if a lull period is needed, I’m going to take it. It’s my blog. I make the rules. Here we will take a weapon used within the genre and talk about its impact within it. I like sharp implements, what can I say?

Sound fun? Then let’s begin.

 "I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor...and surviving." Apocalypse Now

I felt it only appropriate to start Weapons Wendsday with the straight razor, as my blog’s name is a play on Sweeney Todd, and if you know my real name, also a play on my own. Straight razors on their own may not bring to mind horrific imagery. After all, they were made to shave a man’s face. Of course you can use it to shave more than a face. Like for instance, Uncle Fester’s big bald head:

They aren’t seen in media very often as doing anything but what their normal function is, shaving. Straight razors it seems, don’t get much attention except in the most harmless of ways. Trust me dear reader, they are anything but harmless.

There is an intimacy of using a straight razor for killing. It’s a very personal weapon. A murderer willing to use such an implement is making a statement, boldly, messily, but also in its own way poetically. There is a sense of class about the weapon. Of a time period long ago, when women were “real ladies” and guys were “gentlemen”. The idea of drawing a blade down one’s very sensitive neck, and the slightest twitch of the wrist with an unskilled hand is a very horrific concept. Just think about that tasty jugular, vulnerable under that razor, pulsing with blood. You think a nick with an electric razor is bad? Well, there isn’t enough toilet paper to blot a wound made with a straight razor. We now have technology that makes shaving, for both genders, safer and less of a danger than it was in the time period where razors were the only method. With the 2007 release of Sweeney Todd, straight razor horror has a chance of revival in modern horror.

Sweeney Todd in its multiple adaptations is of course the most notable showcase of the straight razor as a weapon. One would even say the straight razors were their own characters. They are sung to and talked to as if they were long lost lovers. Sweeney may have in the end loved the blades more than anything else, as they were his co-conspirators in murdering his enemies. To him, they understood his need for vengeance. One of my favourite scenes that the most recent movie captures is, when he sings to the blades themselves:

Mmm...so haunting.

Sweeney Todd is probably the only series out there that features the straight razor so profoundly. From its roots as the penny dreadful The String of Pearls, to its numerous stage, screen and television adaptations. The straight razor is an under-rated device for killing in my books.  There are scenes here and there where it’s used more than just for shaving though, like in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, where Dracula licks the blood off of the razor like a fiending crack addict:

Would this scene have been nearly as evocative if he just sucked on the towel with Harker’s blood? I somehow doubt it. The licking of the razor itself is visceral, raw and sensual. It shows us the beast in Dracula before Harker ever knows what he’s up against. The scene is powerful, almost sexual, and the razor itself is an intimate weapon.

To use it for a kill, you have to be kissably close. All of Sweeney Todd’s victims are close enough to feel the breath of the barber on their skin. 

Sin City shows how the threat of the razor is entwined with closeness. When Jackie Boy goes to the bathroom, Dwight startles him by shoving a straight razor into his face:

Would this scene have had the same impact if Dwight was pointing it at him from across the room? I don’t think so. The straight razor is personal. To use it, you have to invade another person’s space.

But sadly, most scenes in film only show the straight razor doing what it was made to do, shave faces, sometimes heads. There are variations on the theme, (see Freddy Krueger’s claw, but that’s for another Wednesday) and I’d love to see more Horror that has the straight razor as a weapon. Maybe there is more out there, and if so please feel free to enlighten me in the comments. I did research to find more but I came up short. There are just not enough straight razor scenes in movies that aren’t purely hair removal. Shaving with a straight razor is awesome, but seeing someone killed is even more so, don’t you agree?

If I wasn't already married...*sighs and fans self*

Canadian Content

So this new section in my blog is going to be a regular column about horrific stuff made in my home country Canada. I'm moving the the States in a few weeks, and I am going to miss Canada terribly. So this will be my way of still keeping a connection to Canada, and paying tribute to the stuff we make. 

And I tell you, we make plenty of Horror. But the rest of the world doesn't hear about it as much as they should. We have our own publishing houses that do horror and dark fiction, such as Chizine Publications, and Burning Effigy Press (which work as Assistant Editor for), just to name a few places. We have a international Horror magazine called Rue Morgue, which is one of the top horror magazines in the world. Plus we have amazing films being made, some being well received by critics. One very good example of this is Ginger Snaps, which won the Special Jury Citation award at the Toronto International Film Festival. There are also tons of filmmakers, writers, and artists doing wicked work here in Canada. I feel they need a bit of a hat tip.

So to all you Canadian Horror people, if you happen upon this little fledgling blog, please feel free to contact me if you wanna be showcased in my Canadian Content section. Email me at queenie.writes@gmail.com, and I'll check you and your work out. If not I'll just fill this section up with whatever Canadian goodies I find. We have more to offer than just maple syrup, beavers and hockey. I hate hockey, not a fan of maple syrup, but beavers are cool. Very industrious little critters. I also think they are kinda cute. 

Look at that face, and his little tail! Aw! He just wants some wood to build his home. Sure, our animal doesn't look all snotty and proud like the great Bald Eagle, but don't be fooled. If the beaver doesn't get you, his friend the moose will kick your ass! And Canada is full of them too. 

Canada is wild. And I like that. 

Genre Talk: Dark Fiction & Horror

 So, where’s the line?

This post was inspired by a friend who said to me yesterday, “Horror is about blood and guts. If there is no blood and guts, it’s not horror.” I tried to argue, but then my friend said, “Yes well, that’s what the genre has become.”

Really?

Let’s define our terms first shall we, so at least you understand what I might be trying to say. I really like this explanation given by The Horror Writer’s Association. I like how they define it, and I think it works for all horror media. Plus it saves me writing a page alone on what horror is. They even give a handy Webster’s definition: Webster's Collegiate Dictionary gives the primary definition of horror as "a painful and intense fear, dread, or dismay." It stands to reason then that "horror fiction" is fiction that elicits those emotions in the reader.”

Yes. Out of all the genres, Horror does this best. Sometimes that fear is turned to disgust. Sometimes that dread is turned into nervous laughter. Sometimes that dismay turns to rage. To me, Horror is about the darker emotions. The one’s that society tells you to keep under control. Put a cork on. Lock up or leash. It’s the red-headed step child of the genre world for that reason. The other’s genre’s fear it, as they should. It’s what horror does best. And not all of it needs blood and guts to be horror. Just because there is a section of horror in the movies with blood and guts as their staples, doesn't mean they represent all of horror. The genre is huge, far bigger than people realize. To say Horror is one thing limits it.

But Dark Fiction is different. It straddles the line between Horror and Fantasy, sometimes blurring the lines so intensely no one can tell the difference where one begins and the other ends. I like well done Dark Fiction. I’m a big fan of it. But if it’s done poorly I am more than happy to bitch about it.

I’m also not willing to call something Horror that isn't. For example, Twilight is not horror. Yes, it’s an easy target for this, but that’s because it takes a classic horror element, the vampire, and pretties him up far beyond that of what Anne Rice did. Anne Rice still kept the darkness about vampires intact. The horror of eternal life and being trapped in stasis while the rest of the world grows, ages, and dies. Fine, you’re beautiful for eternity. But you’re a hollow husk, just trying to find things to pass the time until you finally give up and walk out into the sun.

Sparkle vampires just don’t have that kind of pathos. Especially when they are chasing after vacant, one dimensional teenagers with the characterisation of a piece of fruitcake.

I wouldn’t even call it Dark Fiction. Just because you take a staple from another genre and stick it in your story doesn’t mean it is now of that genre. Twilight is a Romance with the mask of vampires on it. Not Dark Romance. It’s in no way DARK. To have any use of that word would mean there was something to contemplate in the series, something twisted lurking under the surface. Even if only a tad. And sure, I haven’t read all the books. I saw one of the movies out of boredom, morbid curiosity and because I was drinking a little. Okay, maybe I was drinking A LOT. At least near the end of the film, to end my torment. I read the first book half way before throwing it across the room in rage at how terribly written it was, and how much I hated every single character. I tried really hard to like it. Hell, Laurell K. Hamilton isn’t a profoundly deep writer. Her work is riddled with typos and bad word use. But it’s STILL better than Twilight, and not just because people actually have sex in Hamilton’s books. (If I read the synopsis of some of these Twilight books correctly, Bella gets preggers so there must be sex at some point. Even if it’s glossed over.) I try to give things a chance. I really do. But there’s a line for me.

Laurell K. Hamilton is a Dark Fiction Writer. A smutty one, but still. Hell, I'd say Harry Potter is closer to Dark Fiction near the end of the series than Twilight ever gets. I love this quote from Stephen King:‎ "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

Anyhow, there’s some amazing dark fiction out there being written, and some amazing horror stuff being written. And people who write either or both well are awesome. In the end, both are contributing to similar goals if you think about it. Making people step out of the safety of the light. Even if all you are doing is writing dark sexy fiction like Laurel K, or writing something truly disturbing and profound like some of the stuff Gary A. Braunbeck writes (Seriously, the guy is amazing. His characters suck you in and his storytelling is superb. Check out his stuff) you’re contributing to drawing people out of the light. I think of the creation of Dark and Horrific storytelling as being guides on an Underworld journey. Depending on the guide will depend on how far down the rabbit hole you go. If you pay your coin, the Ferryman will take you. Some people only ever want to flirt with the darkness. That’s it. They want books with supernaturals in it, but nothing visceral. Nothing that keeps them up all night wondering about themselves and the human condition. Luckily there are many kinds of guides, so if you want the full tour of hell there are those gladly waiting to assist with that.

Personally, I like both kinds of guides. I want to spend my life seeing every corner of the Underworld. Because it’s only in the Underworld do we learn about the depths of our souls. And sometimes, I find things I wish I never saw. Like My Little Dethklops. *shivers*

Extra Stuff In Kweeny's Life

Ok, so this segment isn't horror per say. It's about my life, and the weird shit in it. This specific post is kinda horror related, but mostly about metal. But I think metal and horror pretty much go hand in hand anyhow. You can argue with me if you want, but if you listen to enough metal, (and the fact there are things like Doom Metal and Horror/Death Metal) you realize it's in horror movies, the videos some bands have are horror inspired, and hell, bands like Gwar are dressed as monsters! So follow me along on this one.

Now I love my husband. Love him to bits. I'm moving countries to be with him in a few weeks. But recently, he developed an obsession that almost rivals my love of horror. It's one I can't seem to make peace with, especially when he floods my chat windows with videos and images from the show.

He loves My Little Ponies.


That's right. My husband loves girly things like My Little Ponies. But not just the show, it's gone way beyond that. He now searches the interbutts for images, videos and whatnot that twist the show and pervert it. I guess in it's own way it's horrific. Some of the things I am forced to witness are pretty fucked up.

Like this:

Was I meant to witness such things? I dunno, but now you've witnessed them too. Lets hope it doesn't turn you into a Bronie like my husband.

What's a Bronie you may be asking yourself? Well, let me enlighten you further:

Yeah. Exactly. That face you're making right now (Which probably looks something like this emote --> O.o;; ) is what I did after DAYS of being subjected to these Pony videos. I've seen too many of them, at my husbands will.

But what was the last straw for me, is what he posted recently. Because it was defiling one of my favorite shows. Let me show you:

OMFG WTFBBQ!!!!1111one!

I love Metalocalypse! It's not only a hilarious show that mocks and loves all the troupes of metal music, but it actually has kick ass music in it too! If you are a metal fan, you'll love this show. Believe me. And there is enough blood and guts for it to qualify as horrific too. Some episodes are so disturbing you leave the show thinking, "What the heck did I just watch?" 

I love the show.

I do not LOVE the image above.

PONIES? SOMEONE PONIED MY DETHKLOK? And my husband thinks it's cool? I think my husband is sick people. Sometimes the things that truly frighten us are not coated in blood. Sometimes, they are cute, sparkly ponies. *twitches*

*inhales* Okay that felt good to get off my chest. Next week I'll do my new segment called Wicked Weapons Wednesdays. Every Wednesday I plan to write posts about weapons used in horror movies and the impact they make. I think it will be bad ass. Of course my first post will be the razor, considering the theme and all. So stay tuned for more horror madness. I may need to take a break from blogging for a while once my husband comes down to get me and steal me to America, but I'll be back. No worries there.

And please, watch something gory to wash your brains from the pony sickness. *shivers* I will.

[edit] I just got informed it's Brony appreciation day. DEAR GAWDS! Is there a stupid holiday for every damn thing on the internet? Or did you people just make it up now to torment me? [/edit]

Genre Talk: We Are Not Bloody Unicorns...

But I'm sure they'd be tasty with a dash of pepper. 

I know this doesn't need to be said, but in a way it does. Women in the Horror biz are treated like unicorns. Fairy-tale creatures that can't possibly be real. They couldn't possibly really love the genre the way a man could. That they are only in it to have that "Ooo scary!" moment when they can cuddle up with a guy and he can protect them from the fake horrors on screen. Like we don't truly know what real horror means, because we sometimes wear pumps, we sometimes wear dresses and we sometimes like makeup and other "girly" things. People have done studies on the subject, showing that women are not pretending to like the genre, and are a huge community within it. Why is this still a big deal? It's as stupid to me as banning gay marriage. If two people are in love why can't they be married? If women like horror why can't they get respect like any man within the genre?

Give me a break.

I don't do normal "girly" things. I am turned off by most of what society deems as proper womanly behaviour. I cuss, I am tattooed. I prefer pants over skirts (though I do enjoy a sexy corset every so often), and I am aggressive. I'm not ashamed of it either. I am still a woman. It means more to me than if I have tits and and a bleeding “ax wound”. I have hated my body many times, loved it others and the relationship I have had with the world is colored by the fact I am a woman, who happens to see herself in bewtween genders anyhow. It doesn't make me less of a woman, I just have the perspective of someone who is "GenderQueer."

I personally get tired of seeing how we are treated in the genre. While it is getting better in some ways, there is still a section of the community who treat the genre like a boys club. It doesn't matter if they work in music, film, comics, writing (I sadly see this happen too much in the writing circles I'm a part of) there are some men out there who seem to think women wanting to work in horror is silly. Like we need a pat on the head and sent off to bed like good girls because we are the weaker sex and can't handle real horror.

All I have to say is this:

The times are changing but slowly. There are many more women involved in the genre now, and some making it big too. But I still see people fighting for women's equality within the genre, as well as other places because it's still a problem. Why is it STILL an issue guys? You still get your boxers in knots over the idea women want to be a part of the horror world too? What is it about our darkness that scares you so much?

It's not a boys club. And it shouldn’t be treated like one. Horror is about fear, disgust, darkness, etc. And most of all, horror is about breaking conventions placed by the "mainstream". Horror is supposed to be the place where people talk about taboo subjects, explore the dank recesses of the human spirit. And if you think women don't have voices to go along with that...

People shouldn’t be treated differently due to their race, gender, creed or any of that, but in reality we are. In reality the absurd stereotypes some horror movies implement (like for example: The virgin always lives. The black guy dies first. The “slut and jock” die having sex, etc) are just reflections of the ones we live with in reality. Horror is a dark mirror that way. It reflects back what we see in society and twists it on its head. In a lot of ways, horror helps you experience the darker parts of humanity in a safe way. My body doesn't make me who I am. But my experiences do shape me. As a woman, I have had experiences different from a man. This does not devalue the stories I can tell, and take away the horrific impact of those stories. If we stop focusing on sex, maybe we can get down into the nitty gritty of telling twisted tales. If I had my way, gender wouldn't be an issue at all. It’s about entertainment and darkness. Let’s get working on that.

Ignoring us is not going to make us go away. Trying to force us out will only make us louder. We love this genre too, from women who enjoy a good slasher, to those who write novels about monsters, to those of us who make films about the truly disturbing stuff to seek catharsis. We are as varied as men's voices within the genre, and we are here to stay.

There, I'm off my high horse. Let's get to the business of how awesome horror is!