Showing posts with label Lord Bearington. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lord Bearington. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

KWEENY TODD CELEBRATES 2 YEARS OF HORROR BLOGGING

LET'S FRIGGEN CELEBRATE BITCHES!
Today isn't the ACTUAL date of my 2 year anniversary, but I was busy gallivanting around with Pirates, Gypsies and Faeries. Two huge festivals back to back kind of sucked up all my time, not to mention doing my film project RED HANDED and other side projects in between. So I apologize to you, my lovely Gory Kingdom, for not being on time with the festivities. I juggle many things, and sometimes the juggling isn't perfect.

BUT YES! MY BLOG IS 2 YEARS OLD! Holy shitsnacks! People haven't booted me off the internet yet? And I still have readers? WHO ARE YOU CRAZY PEOPLE? Come on over here and give me a friggen hug! Don't mind the fangs...
*GROUP HUGZZZZZZZ, with teeth*

I'm seriously really thankful for all you readers and supporters who have stuck by me all the time. My awesome blog buddies who've contributed to pieces such as THE ULTIMATE CANDYMAN EXTRAVAGANZA, GIRLS HORRIBLE MOVIE NIGHTS, interviews with people working in the genre and other blog events. I also wanna thank my fellow partners in crime: Lord Bearington, Mad Jester, and the newest member of the Gory Kingdom, My Butler. Because a Kweeny should have a damn Butler to clean up her murders *cough* I mean messes! *shifty eyes*

From all of us here at Kweeny Todd, we thank you for your support! We aren't just horror lovers, we are horror family, and we need to stick together. Just let's not stick too much together. I don't do ass to mouth...

Speaking of Extreme Horror, many of my blog chums and I are celebrating over at GUTS AND GROG! It's Extreme Horror Week gang! Bring out your dark, creepy, and devious sides and come join us! 

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Creepmas Day 09: The Gory Kingdom's Wish List

ON THE NINTH DAY OF CREEPMAS MY MONSTERS GIVE TO YOU:

Ah it's that time of year again. When your family bugs you for a "Christmas" list and you have to try and figure out what you want. Well, normal people's families do that. Not around here in the Gory Kingdom! Kweeny rules and thus she wants Creepy Creepmas Wish Lists from her minions! And I will now do the evil madness with them! OH SO MUCH EVIL!



*begins typing*

*hits publish*

*cackles evilly*

For your entertainment I and the other contributors of this blog have decided to post our Wish Lists, so that you can judge us on our greed! HUZZAH!




Because the reason for the season is to go more in debt and have stuff right? *scratches chin* I was sure Santa's evil plans were to make us all more greedy...

Oh well. I LIKE SHINY THINGS SO LET'S GET STARTED!


THE GORY KINGDOM'S WISH LIST FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

Kweeny's Wishes:

A Haunted Castle: 

I just think a haunted castle would be a neat thing to have. I have always wanted my own castle, I am a Queen after all, and a Kweeny should live in a castle. But a normal castle would bore me. And having that many rooms I would want them filled somehow. Lord Bearington is a big bear, but he is only one bear. Ghosts would make the place very interesting and lively...in it's own way.

OTEPS New Album Hydra: 

This is going to be her last album. It comes out on January 22 2013, and I am super stoked. As she puts it, "HYDRA is a conceptual story. Each song is like a Fibonacci sequence, dependent upon the one before & after. It is theater of the mind. Open wide ....let me pollinate you." *Grabs her face and tries to open it wider to fit all the music*

The Major's Body From Ghost In The Shell: 

Not only is Ghost In The Shell one of the greats in Anime movies, it has a character I adore in it known as "The Major". Her brain has been transplanted into a cybernetic body, complete with cloaking, cybernetics in her brain, a smoking hot bod, other crazy implants and  the best part: she feels no pain, cold, heat, etc. I mean she literally rips her own arm off like it's taffy and doesn't even react! Yesss, to feel no pain would be delightful!

To Own The Event Horizon Ship:

 If you haven't seen this movie, do so! It's amazing! The whole premise is this ship goes into a wormhole and comes back wrong. Very wrong. It's all haunted and creepy stuff happens. It's been missing for 7 years, so when the crew that is sent to explore it goes inside, bad things happen. Very bad things.

I still want one. I'd make it a haunted attraction!

To Die In A Troma Movie: 

Just think about how cool that would be! I want my head to be crushed like a water melon, or to get blown up in a stalk footage car they use in every film, or to have my guts removed by naked zombie cheerleaders! It all sounds gory and fantastic to me!


Lord Bearington's Wishes:

A Lifetime Supply Of Pizza:

I have never, EVER, uttered the phrase, "Nah, I'm not in the mood for pizza."

A Teleporter:

I have friends and family all over the northern half of North America. I have no car. I have no money for plane fare. Travel takes time. This sounds like a job for BAMF!


All The Sushi:

I want all the sushi. All of it. Forever. Man I'm getting hungry. I should eat someone... *cough* I mean something...

A Cushy Job:

A nice cushy job where I tell people to optimize their synergy to maximize productivity while minimizing friction. In short, someone needs to pay me for spouting complete and utter ridiculous statements.

A Nice Day Of Camping:

Out in the wilderness, catching salmon with my bear paws. Maybe having a hiker for desert. Warming up by their campfire. You know, like the ancestors used to do before we figured out hiding in civilized society means less rusty traps.


Mad Jester's Wishes:

The Three Stooges:

At first, I was content with the Ultimate Collection box set. It's got all the classic shorts with the 'original' movie lineup of Larry, Moe and Curly. But then I remembered- Kweeny said to go BIG. So, big did I go, and I decided- I want the Three Stooges THEMSELVES. Rise from your graves, and perform slapstick comedy for my amusement! And since they're undead and can't feel pain, they'd be able to go all the harder to give me my yuks! Larry, Moe, and Curly, all for my very own! Shemp can come too- I don't like him as much as Curly, but he's pretty good. Don't come near me with that 'what about Joe?' shit, though, or I'll cut you like a Guatemalan pimp. Fuck Joe, that's what about Joe.

Oh, and speaking of cutting...

A Muramusa Sword:

Yep, a sword made by Sengo Muramasa in the 1500s. It was said of Sengo Muramasa that he "was a most skillful smith but a violent and ill-balanced mind verging on madness, that was supposed to have passed into his blades." They were popularly believed to have been cursed, instilling within their wielder an insatiable lust for blood, driving them to murder or suicide. Cursed objects seem to like me, so how would a blade like that react in the hands of Yours Madly, I wonder? Hmmm...

A Goddamn Arcade:

In my youth, a LOT of time was (mis)spent in seedy local arcades, pounding quarters into machines that gobbled them up with the ostentatious glee of a sideshow carnie. If you've never been in one, it's a very different experience from playing video games at home- it's noisy, hectic, occasionally smelly... but it's also exciting. It's like the difference between watching a baseball game at home, and watching it in the stands. With the big buttons and chunky control sticks, arcade machines somehow give a more... satisfying experience. I would love to have an arcade of my own- a big ol' two-story building, packed to the rafters with all my favourite coin-op games. Set a cot up for me in one corner, I'm HOME.

Whatever Else These Guys Do Next:

Last summer, in Tokyo, there was a COMPLETELY TITS-AWESOME event: the good folks at Scrap Inc. rented out an abandoned hospital and used it as the setting for a real-life survival-horror game. Participants played the role of U.N. investigators infected with a zombie virus, and had to use clues found in various rooms to find a vaccine and escape before the time runs out. Are you KIDDING?! "Say, MJ, you wanna go live in Resident Evil for a couple hours?" "Why, I certainly do, wish-granting genie with a poor grasp of the obvious! I certainly do!" So needless to say, whatever these mad geniuses are doing NEXT year, SEND ME TO JAPAN AND GIVE ME FOUR OF IT.

This Fucking Thing:

It's a painstaking recreation of Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck from Twisted Metal. It's got a steel cowcatcher and twin front-mounted chain guns! And a gigantic evil-clown bobblehead on top! If that thing has an actual freezer in the back, and a decent stereo system up front... shit, I'd marry it. No other vehicle I can think of packs so much of what I love into it. And I used to watch Pimp My Ride, so that's saying something. Drop a DVD player into that puppy, and ... mmm. I'll be in my bunk.

Kweeny: We don't wish for too much now do we?




Monday, 10 September 2012

Kweeny And Lord Bearington's Super Serious Analysis Of Serious Seriousness...

Okay, so I watched Dread with Lord Bearington, and we decided we would try to review it together, but instead it turned out to be more of a movie analysis. Which is fine, I don't have those very often on this site. So if you are curious, please read the transcript and explore the fleshy depths of the movie Dread with us.

BUT BE WARNED: His Lordship is a bit academic and their may contain spoilers. It's also a rather long post, with lots to read. My suggestion: It's best to read this post after you've seen it. It's on Netflix instant. This is a different style than what you may be accustomed to on the blog, as his Lordship enjoys analysis over reviews, so please feel free to join in the comments section with your own analysis. We do enjoy friendly banter!

Kweeny And Lord Bearington's Super Serious Analysis Of Serious Seriousness On...


THE MOVIE DREAD


LB: Why, oh why was this direct to video? Dread is an awesome movie.

KT: Because it was a limited release festival film. It had it's premiere at the 2009 Montreal Fantasia Festival, where it was then promptly picked up by After Dark Films.

LB: Damn you Hollywood! Why do the good films get pushed to the margins and Battleship got a major theatrical release? ahem

KT: Jeeze, you don't give me the easy questions do you?

LB: Anyways...

KT: I adore some of the lines in this movie. The actors capture the melodic yet searing prose Clive Barker uses in his own work. “I want your soul to open up for me...”

LB: It's wonderful how the opening sting gets used again... and with the addition of just a few more words, it goes from mysterious to a deeper, darker, more cthonic place.

KT: Right down into the underworld...

LB: I want to touch on something here, the alliterations to existentialist philosophy really does add some deeper meaning and framework to this film. From the starting point of Serinak's hedonism (taught at night) to Jean-Paul Sarte just as the film turns the corner into the third act, it really adds a level of depth that most pure “shock” movies don't have.

KT: I agree, it really does set up everything for the final blow at the end. Also, I love the music in this film. It's eerie, wrenching. It sets the tone for everything that's happening on screen.

LB: It's so good that it does that without being obtrusive, and is used sparingly, so that the actors really set the film.



LB: Ah the characters are so wonderfully set up in the bar's dialogue scene, one flees from fear while the other wants to...

KT: Chase it down like a lioness with her prey?

LB: I was going to say stare right into the Abyss and burn his fear away. But yeah, he has to chase it down.

KT: There's always the chase first.

LB: Fear... you're such a woman.

KT: What's that supposed to mean? Glares

LB: Uh, Movie... movie... Points look at the gripping Clive Barker movie!

KT: Oooooh... shiny movie... Tilts head and stares

LB: This movie does show not tell so wonderfully. The killer flashback scene is done so well. The cinematography, special effects, and even more subtle things make my fur bristle delightfully.

KT: I love the little things, like the subtle trick about him sticking his tongue out when taking the pills. That's what they do in mental hospitals, and it shows that he's been in them long enough that it's become an ingrained routine. Second, the special effects with the ax into the head of his mom, HOLY SHIT... I felt that in my own face man! It was so well done.

LB: I like how it sets up that no punches are going to be pulled in the film.

KT: Agreed whole heartedly! It very much reminds me of Martyrs that way, it sets up a complete disregard of the viewer's feelings and goes straight for the gut and doesn't let up.

LB: I disagree, but only slightly. It does let up, because otherwise it would just be another slasher movie. It allows the tension to snap back, then slowly build again to the breaking point.

KT: True, it's a little slower than Martyrs. Because Martyrs is like a punch to the gut, which then gripped your intestines, twisted and pulled you along throughout the entire film.

LB: Yes. Dread is like the ax that it uses. A heavy sharp blow that then raises, so you get all the time in the world to watch the arc it takes to swing around again... and again. And you're powerless to stop it.

KT: Too true. speaking of axes...


KT: The camera angle, with the ax head bumping along the stairs is bone-chillingly awesome.

LB: Not just technically awesome, but it gets that idea of slow building horror across so well. The inevitability of it.

KT: And then the when the killer runs his hands through the gore on the blade, “This is your mother and this is your father.” It has such weight beyond the character of the killer who has great screen presence, but the camera work is done so beautifully, it makes you feel that you're there with that kid. The whole film is filled with beautiful camera work.

LB: The scene also touches on a secondary theme that runs through the movie, the physical nature of who we are, especially in the existentialist philosophy from before. There is no god in this movie. No afterlife. None of the illusions existentialists say we hide behind to avoid looking at ourselves as so much meat.

KT: Agreed, we are monsters and meat. That's what this movie is about at the core.

LB: I'd say we're meat... and some of us are monsters IN meat.

KT: Oh honey, we're all monsters, it's just to what extent do you embrace your monster.

LB: Grawr

KT: Scritches Bear's head


LB: 64 Pilgrim st... Ugh... Pilgrim st. This movie is laced with so much underlying metaphor that it's brilliant.

KT: So is the short story honey. You should totally read The Books of Blood. The books as a whole are better.

LB: And of course, he's in the basement... the underworld.

KT: Of course he is, that's where all the fun begins. Party in the underworld!

LB: Okay, unless you REALLY want me to, I'll try to avoid all the metaphor/alliteration stuff I see from here on out unless it's really stand out to me.

KT: No you wont, now get back in the underworld and party! 

LB: Adjusts monocle, gets brandy.

LB: Sex and the body....

KT: Yup. A major theme here. Quaid has no filters, he just showers next to Stephen like they've known each other their entire lives. He has no shame for his nakedness in front of another guy. It kind of captures that there's something off about Quaid, that he doesn't have conventional morality.

LB: Agreed, but the body, naked and exposed is another tool in the box used to show that we're just meat.

KT: Clive Barker has that as a theme throughout most of his work.

LB: If it wasn't done so well I'd call it sensationalist exploitation... but it's done well.

KT: I think it's because Clive Barker comes from a genuine place with it. These are questions that haunt him and his work. A good horror master writes about his personal demons.


KT:I have to say though, I feel for Cheryl the most because she survives and oh, how she survives...Shivers

LB: It's set up that way... that death isn't the worst thing, it's the dread in the waiting and fighting against it.

KT: Quaid has no boundaries, he just does whatever he wants. The scene where he breaks the watch is just another example of it.

LB: Oh he has boundaries, but they're all selfish, all about him. I want to see your soul, but there is no way I'm showing you mine.

KT: Dick move Quaid. Dick move.

LB: One of the things that I love is that not everything is explicit in this film. You don't know how Quaid got away from the killer. You don't know exactly what Cheryl's father did. You don't know what happens to Abby in the end. You don't know, and in the end, the not knowing is worse.



KT: Oh the dread, the building of delicious dread...

LB: And Quaid... not taking your pills is a bad plan! So now we get another ax blow in the form of a dream sequence. One done right for a change in cinema.

KT: It's a freaky fucking scene, but by no means the freakiest...


KT: Let's talk about characters. I like Abby's character, hell, I like all the characters! They each show the struggle to come to grips with the beast of dread, all in different ways. Even the most seemingly normal, like the girl who only pretends she has issues so she can get on film and build her portfolio, it takes a certain kind of selfish fear to fake you have been through trauma, just so you can be an actress.

LB: Is it bad that I want to touch Abby's face?

 KT: What compels you to touch it?

LB: To reach out and bridge the gap of pain. To give a caress that says “It's the things that make you unique that make you wonderful.”

KT: If I didn't know you meant that from a purely loving place, it almost sounds the same as what Quaid says to her later on. He says something similar, but it's not full of compassion the way your statement is.  But I digress...There's something so virginal about Abby undressing for Stephen.

LB: She's showing... oh boy... she's showing her true colors, she's unsure, unsafe, out of her comfort zone and letting...

KT: Letting someone in.

LB: Yeah. Letting someone in through the fear.

KT: I sometimes wish more people could be brave enough to do that.

LB: Pain is a great motivator not to, sadly.

 KT: So after she gets rejected she ends up with Quaid, and while I enjoy his rant on what is sexy, it's probably the worst mistake she's ever made.

LB: If Quaid was still on his meds, it wouldn't have been though. That's the real tragedy of this for me. If he had done this study, this exploration while still on his meds he probably would have found the solace he needed. At a much slower pace grant you, but he would have found it without turning INTO the monster he fears.

KT: And his solace would have been more lasting.

LB: Yeah, because in the end, he's going to have to keep upping the ante to maintain his position as a psychonaut.


KT: Also: Abby is Quaids foil. Her darkness is on the outside, where his is inside.

LB: That's the superficial level, yeah, but it's also in how they deal with being “different”. Abby shies away from it where Quaid dives into it and swims around in the soup. Chuckles But I know you were just throwing me a softball line so “smart Bear sound smart.”

 KT: Smirks and winks

LB: I want to compliment the movie on something: From the halfway point where Quaid and Abbey have sex to almost the end I really thought he had done something to Abby because she doesn't show up. The movie PLAYED me... they took my expectations and twisted them so well I didn't see it coming. golf claps Bravo old chaps.
KT: What follows is the opening sting revisited. It's scripted so beautifully and delivered so expertly that they sound and feel like they were penned by Mr. Barker right in that moment. It brings me back to the short story, making me relive the emotions brought out by the book, without being actual lines from the original work. I think some people have been hard on this movie because it's not a line for line to shot for shot remake of the story, but not all good adaptations have to be. Take Lord of the Rings for instance. It's not a spot on adaptation, but it's done so that the feel, the core of the work shines through.

LB: Or in this case, the core sucks out all light and hope... but I know what you mean.

KT: That's because it's a story about dread, Your Lordship.

LB: Which... was my point?

KT: You're a snot.

LB: Harumphs but smiles


KT:: When Quaid flips out at the half-way mark, that's when everything comes to a head, when the nasty pimple is about to burst.

LB: From here on out it's a slow descending train ride into madness and pain.

KT: And Quaid is the conductor.

LB: Wait a sec, his name is Stephen GRACE?  Oh you... you... you movie you!

KT: Can't get over the metaphors huh?

LB: And Cheryl Fromm... I know that last name... searches internet. The author of Escape from Freedom and The Art of Loving? Oh you beautiful cheeky bastards!

KT: Chuckles Now you know why I read Clive Barker.

LB: That's one of the things I really do love about this movie. They did their homework. Even minor things have deep meaning.

KT: You know who one of the producers on this film is right?

LB: No.

KT: Clive Barker!

LB: Grumps Fangirl.

KT: Squees

KT: The scene where Quaid tries to apologize and take Stephen for a “ride” shows how abusers work. They will flip out on you, make you feel like it's your fault then try to apologize and smooth is all out with charm. Because of Quaid's darkness he's becoming a monster in his own right without realizing it. He's abusing his friends and without permission walking into their mental minefields and then fucking with the scenery. These are all things you need to look out for in an abuser.

LB: And yet another bit of understanding how trauma can so easily lead one down those dark paths. It's true. Look into the Abyss and the Abyss looks into you. Dark Shaman Bear says, “Be very careful while exploring your shadow. It's a great thing to do, but make sure your friends have the other end of the rope and listen to them when they try to reel you back in. You can always make another trip, and explore it slowly.”

KT:: That's the whole problem with Quaid: went too fast, too hard and yanked everyone in with him.

LB: Knowing nod I want to talk about the use of lighting in this film for a bit. It's done with a deft artistry.

 KT: One of the things I enjoy is the shadow play. If you look real close you can see the shadows creeping on the wall. It's done very subtly.

LB: That's what I'm talking about. The director knows what light, shadow and darkness symbolize and uses them to great effect. When I watched it the first time I thought of the way light was used in Citizen Kane. Yes, I just compared this to Citizen Kane in terms of cinematography, and I stand by it.

KT: You know you're starting to remind me of the Cinema Snob, and I have the hots for the Cinema Snob, right?

LB: Gives a prideful growl


LB: Okay, the second half of the movie is intensely gripping, but to talk about it involves a LOT of spoilers. We've done enough I think. Because of this we should stop the analysis there. It can't be talked about without spoiling the ending, so this is a really good place to stop.

KT: I think that might be for the best.

LB: I will say this, it's a Clive Barker film. It's an exploration of darkness and dread, so never stops being that. It's not a “fun” film, but it will keep you enthralled.

KT: It's definitely something that needs to be seen. It stirred feelings the way Martyrs did in me.

LB: I approached it from a more intellectual point of view (shocking I know) and it delivers on that end too.

KT: Absolutely, I just tend towards the emotional levels over the intellectual. But this movie does deliver on both ends, which makes both parts of me very happy.

LB: It's like Pi and Martyrs had a kid.

KT: YES! Perfect metaphor! You get a mind fuck and emotional catharsis all in one!


LB: So, your final verdict? I personally give it a 10/10, it's really one of the best films I've ever seen, hell, I compare it to Citizen Kane and would do so again. It's another Metropolis, Fight Club, or Pulp Fiction. Yes, it's that good. Because I haven't read the story it originally came from I can only judge it on its own merits and can't think of anything wrong with it as a stand alone work. That's why it gets the score it does from me. I know you've read Mr. Barker's work, so what do you think Kweeny?

KT: Clive Barker's Dread is the first movie adaptation to capture what it's like to read one of his horror stories. And readers of this blog know how much I love things like Hellraiser and Midnight Meat Train. They approached this story with complete seriousness and an eye at capturing the essence of the work they were adapting. It has all the intellectual meat and emotional depth you'd get from reading something from The Books of Blood. Just don't expect it to BE the Books of Blood. Look for the core of the meaning in the movie to show you the glimmer of Clive Barker's work. It's a 9/10 for me.

Friday, 27 April 2012

Kweeny's Bear Reviews Alice: The Madness Returns

Hey guys! I bring you the long awaited Part Deux of my husband's Alice Games Reviews. If you missed part one, just follow the link. Enjoy!



GHOST PEPPER BEAR REVIEWS THE ALICE GAMES


PART 2

*drops a dead camper off and politely dabs his blood stained muzzle with a red handkerchief*

Ahem, I do apologize for the delay in this. It seems I am a terrible procrastinator and needed a bit of... prodding... to get me out of my cave.

*nudges the camper's stick back under the gory mess*

Anyways, the last time we spoke oh gentle reader, was when I went over what is most correctly a horror prequel for our current topic of discussion. We spoke then of American McGee's Alice. Today we speak of the more truly terrifying of the two, Alice: The Madness Returns. A more apt appellation I could not aspire to ascribe to this absolutely artful portrayal of atrocity.


Regardless, where to begin? I suppose at the end is the best place to start. When we last left our loopy lady, she had recovered something very precious, her own agency in the world. The problem is she bought it at the price of her memory, leaving her able to act, but adrift without the anchor of a past. Now she seeks to build bridges, and better herself through the act of consciously crushing her subconscious mind. A damnable repression ripping apart her internal reality, to accept that of the mundane. A terrible choice which cannot last for very long.

But this is a discussion of how horror can live in games. We talked of the bare bones of creepy with our previous discussion. Now we lay the meat on the skeleton.


*picks a splinter of bone, marrow still dribbling down and picks a piece of person from his toothy grin*

Alice: The Madness Returns tells the tale in layers, peeling back bit by bit to get to the rotten ghastly core. This is its genius. To start simple and straightforward, then through learning, the player begins unblinding oneself and the more nuanced and grim aspects of the tale becomes apparent. The tale is dark dear reader, of that you can be assured. Betrayal, perhaps the most profound betrayal one can commit: of the strong preying up on the weak. I shan't ruin the whole of the story, for like most truly delicious tales of the depths of fear, not knowing makes the understanding more potent in the end.


The whole game is a puzzle box shaken end over end and only by playing can you turn the pieces over, place the corners, and watch the whole horrifying picture emerge. Yet the genius is that some of the pieces are missing, and while you can fill them in with your mind, the certainty is gone, and that uneasy feeling will never leave. In the end our heroine is broken, yet unbowed, standing tall, though tilted curiously to the left, if you take my meaning.

All too often the horror in games its superficial at best. Zombies, monsters, and the thing you cannot kill. Body horror can only go so far, as anyone who has played Left 4 Dead can tell you. Eventually, no matter how gruesome, a thing is just a thing, no matter what it may have once been. Alice mines deeper things, real things, real horror, and grabs hold of that piece of your mind that rests uncomfortably between sleep and waking.


Are you sane? If you said yes, how do you know? If you're not, then you've examined the issue and no matter how battered your brain, you're ahead of those lost in their madness. This is what ultimately Alice must confront. She must deal with reality, but cannot without the tools she learned in a place unreal, and it is through the use of lies she finds the truth. A truth with which she then acts, and it allows her to blend reality and fiction together. A state the user, if self aware, knows they live in themselves.

There are disturbing images, creepy if you will. But these deeper questions, those are what truly haunt. And on subsequent play, you see the clues were there all along. It was ignorance, willful or not, that would not let her see.


I may have rambled here, and I have a dinner awaiting me. But if you enjoy a horrific theater of the mind, and gaming, I recommend this one. Not for the gameplay, which is decent if tedious at times, but for the underlying uncomfortable questions this experience poses. That dear reader is where your Kween's Bear love of horror comes from.

Ta Ta for now.

*bends down to have a bite*

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Happy April Ghouls Day!

I bring you guys a "gift." It might actually be more of a practical joke, considering how dry he tends to write sometimes.  His humor is pretty much like powdered milk. But at least you don't have to live with him.

Today in honor of April Ghouls Day and a game I love to pieces, My Husband Bear writes you a review (which will come in two parts) of American McGee's Alice games. I thought since he was the one who played them through for me (Because the controls make me rage quit faster than Speedy Gonzalez on meth. For real. I tried several times to play them.The games are kinda borked that way, which is a shame, considering how awesome the story is.)

Are you ready? Sriracha Bear Incoming...

For more awesome artwork check out http://theoatmeal.com/

Ghost Pepper Bear Reviews The Alice Games 


So hello readers of the Macabre, I am Kweeny's aforementioned bear. Yes, I'm a bear. You have no idea how difficult it is to type with these claws, but for her, my murderously dual-souled love, I'll do it. Recently at her behest, as I somehow get suckered into being her gaming bear, (NO DANCING), I played American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns for her. Today I will be discussing the first title in the series.


First, I will say to you dear reader, what I will not be talking about. No gameplay gripes shall pass my muzzle. I will speak on how the art is used as a tool for other things in the games, but about graphic fidelity I shall utter not a further word. The same goes for how these games play. Where the mechanics support or detract from the horrific themes I shall speak on, but as to how the first game's platforming is like slipping on a hot steaming turd covered floor while wearing banana peel slippers, I shall say no more.

While I first started playing these games as straight up games, diversions to entertain and challenge, a strange thing happened. I realized I was playing that most rare of genres, the horror game. The further I went in each game the more horrific it became, and that's saying something when your game starts with such personal tragedy. The stage is set when we take Alice (a girl of no more than nine) and turn her Wonderland upside down with a fire that consumes her home, her family, and even as she lay in the asylum bed, her sanity.


She is comatose looking up at nothing, seeing nothing, and feeling nothing. She has essentially become a hollow shell clutching a hand stitched rabbit loosely. Then a stirring happens, and the psychological torment one can put themselves through begins to shine. She pulls the rabbit in close, and it begins to speak, rapidly, urging her to save Wonderland. And through this save herself.
Alice is a game that has more than the trappings of horror. We all know the type. Sure the recent Resident Evil games have zombies, but do you ever truly feel despair, loss, or revulsion any more? Alice has all these things in spades, well let's say hearts if you prefer. It's worth talking about them individually, and how the game builds these horror themes up and into the player's mind.

First up is despair. From the start the denizens of Wonderland are shackled, enslaved and working for a faceless, unseen Queen of Hearts. The bright colors of our Wonderland are dulled browns, dingy greys, and radioactive greens. Her very imagination is polluted and forced to serve others. The setting does wonders to show how enmeshed in loss Alice is without hamfisting it. At one point she can only flow down a river of her own tears to move forward, and it's plainly shown, but not hammered down your throat so hard you have to gag it back up.


Quickly you become attached to your companions. Seeking mental solace in the familiarity of friends to replace the family that is gone. Every step forward is greeted with new loss though, as your guides, friends, and comrades are killed. I found myself going out of my way to help save the minor characters I could, not out of any in game benefit, but because after losing the people who are so important. I was latching onto literal voiceless pawns to bulwark against the pain. If that doesn't speak to loss I don't know what does.



Then there is revulsion. This doesn't come in immediately, and is only built upon once you are shaken through the tragic senselessness of so many deaths. Slowly things become more and more off, and the fantastic Wonderland takes on more sinister tones. Children laughing madly, stupidly, as they're set up like Alex from A Clockwork Orange, clamped down and eyes opened up. This intensifies until you're going through Alice's own hellish version of the asylum, and eventually her very own hell with lava, brimstone and imps included. Finally there is the Queen's chambers: a cthonic chamber of pulsing red tendrils, bone and flowing pools of what is obviously blood. The score here does great duty with a sound that is just ever so slightly discordant, like a child's xylophone set that is somehow out of tune.


The most horrific part of this game is that it throughout it hints that all Alice deals with is a denial of the truth, an artful self-delusion. This turns out to be the truth, the hard painful, wicked and nasty truth. In the end you can only delude yourself with childlike wonder for so long. Eventually the pain must out, and that dear readers is where the next game of the series begins...
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