From The Butler
Tonight's Sufferance- Monster Brawl
T'would only be fitting that after being
promised by the good peoples of this manor a night off that one would sit back
and relax with a good movie, preferably one in the mood of a good fight in the
ring movie. You know, Queensberry Rules,
that sort of thing! Settle down with a
good pint and perhaps cheer on a decent underdog.
Of course the lovelies that I take care of
here decided they would supply me a good fight movie for my enjoyment. They did assure me it would be like no other
fight film I had ever seen.
Oh my.
What I was provided turns out to be not
quite the mano-a-mano sort of thing but a combination of Wrestling, Street
Fighter, Mortal Kombat and just plain whatever one could get away with.
The premise is this. Take a group of Monster both infamous and
improvised and throw them into a ring to fight to the death. Starting off as a ladder match and set in a
Necropolis hosted and presented to the viewers as a “Showdown for the
Ages”. Set up into conferences of Undead
and Creatures. Cleverly I must admit
they try to use several Public Domain and famous creatures and then as close as
one can get. And then as one of the
great hosts they bring in a Mouth from the South Jimmy Hart. Yes I can already feel and taste the quality
coming up.
Treated as a Pay per View special event,
we're given short biographies of each competitor and then presented with our
first events and our special referee Herb Dean from the UFC . Of course the dark comedy of this film
quickly makes short work of the referee in a collateral damage strike by the
first two contenders. Well they did say
it was a Standard Death Match.
A touch of class is granted that our voice
overs are provided by the great Lance Henriksen, lending a sense of gravity and
seriousness to what is quickly a no holds barred wrestling and ultimate
fighting challenge by the monsters. And
so we begin. Time for another pint I
think.
First we meet the Cyclops, striving to
train and win the final battles. And
then the more generic Witch Bitch, an unusual creature with a mix of classic
Salem harlot and ugly hag. Trained by
opportunistic wee troll trainer into a fighter, so in short its almost a
foregone conclusion this is going to be a “jobber match” if I understand the
term. With great fanfare from our Mouth of the South we get our two opponents
called into the ring and get treated to a dirty tricks fight and beat
down. This of course leads to the early
demise of our referee Herb Dean, meaning we're to be treated to even more nasty
beat-downs. Both our TV commentators
note it can only get worse from here.
Ding dong the witch is dead indeed.
Another pint I fear at this point.
Now its time to look at the Undead
conference, with now background on the Mummy who escapes from a museum to take
part in the tournament. Soon followed
with a look at our Lady Vampire, giving us a different and darker take on a
Vampire legend. (One imagines they
wanted a mean lady in leather literally Hell bent.) Entering the ring one is treated to a true
battle of titans immortal using every trick in their books to try and triumph
over the other. Final triumph goes to
the monster that just wants it more in the end.
And now we get our next introduction to our
next contenders, who we find is starting off with the latest in a long line of
werewolves. And in our other corner we
get introduced to the Swamp Gut, and disturbing creature that is a protector of
nature in the bayou. A battle of the
Creatures conference, this quickly delivers its promise to be a rather low and
disgusting affair. Splattered across the
ring the battle is soon decided, with the winner promised to be faced off
against a winner from the heavy-weight conference of the Undead.
Now we are told the tales of the Undead
conference heavy-weight challenges. A
Zombie experiment from the government, and the classic Frankenstein monster
needs little lead in, just a minor update to a creature we all know for this
battle royale. And so brought to the
ring are these two Undead horrors, with the addition that we know its hard to
have just one Zombie. The trainers for
the two monsters engage in their own personal battle, leading the raising of
the Dead from the graveyard and unleashed on everything in the battle
ring. The Mouth of the South and his
beauties wisely make a quick retreat while the commentators find themselves
defending themselves.
And thus finally our last battle of the
ring. Werewolf against the Frankenstein.
Both monsters holding grudges against the other for what they each
represent. And in typical wrestling
bravado they hype and taunt each other into the main event. Though this proves to be a sideshow to the
ongoing background saga of our commentators dealing with the side effects of
their zombie attack. Fortunately the
final battle continues on outside the ring, leading a far more satisfying
victorious conclusion. And in true
horror fashion this is then followed by the horror tradition of a cliff-hanger
of the monsters.
You know, this really isn't a half bad
fight flick. Clearly there is a lot of
love for the entire genre of not just the creatures and horrors themselves, but
a strong love for the craziness that is the World Wrestling Federation and
fighting games like Mortal Kombat in all their heyday and havoc. Not only is the the commentary witty and to
be expected the battles themselves also pay good homage from the fighting genre
that modern audiences have since taken for granted. I find myself smiling at this choice and
enjoying it for what it is, a tribute film to everything that a kid growing up
on this loved and dreamed of, taken to a very black comedy conclusion. My complements to a clever writer and the
cast bringing their own love of the genres to the screen.
Well, I must say this has been a pleasant
surprise. Now maybe I should take these
tickets to this new theatre that the Mistress here has left here unused? What could possibly go wrong at a film premiere?
I have never even heard of this! I am going to look it up, seems like one I would enjoy since I love the monster, horror and UFC! :) Thanks!
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