Genre Talk: Kweeny's Childhood Role Models

Growing up, I had to dig amongst the mass produced, white picket fence, 2.5 families to even find something I could admire, let alone come close to the reality of my situation. My family was nothing like June Cleavers. Hell, I was lucky if I could find people in my house that were related to me half the time, let alone anything resembling a parent who cared.

So my family role models tended to not be the standard. The people I wished were my family was people like the Deetz from Beetlejuice, who had a goth daughter that reminded me of myself at the time. I envied Lydia’s wardrobe, but most of all, the people in her life. Even though her parents needed Beetlejuice and the Maitland’s to teach them to care about her more, she had that. And hell, she had Beetlejuice in her life, which was the kind of exciting influence I wanted over what I did have to endure every day.

But most of all, I wanted my family to be like The Addams Family. What abused gothic child didn’t? I mean I know goth children who were never abused and wanted them as their family, because The Addams Family were great! I didn’t give a shit about Disney princesses growing up, or trying to fit into an unrealistic mold of what “family” should be. I just wanted a loving, weird family were I fit in. To be among my own kind who had my back. I wanted to grow up and find a love like Mortica’s, while at the same time, wanted to be her daughter. I wanted the whole lot of them. I’d probably fit in as well as Beetlejuice fits in with The Deetz's, but still, I think it would be better than the family I was stuck in. And The Addams Family is willing to support and love members of their family who don’t fit their ideals perfectly. Remember in the second movie when her new born son goes through that…phase?

As a child, I was not interested in princesses, because I had bigger concerns. I wanted a loving family, so when I played with dolls I tried to goth them out to look like The Addams Family and play out the ideal family I dreamt of. They were GOOD PEOPLE. They showed me that being weird is who you are, not what you wear and all that. If you are weird, you can still be a decent human being, full of compassion for others but true to yourself. You can also find others like you, a family of sorts, and keep them close. Because sometimes, people won't see that you are a decent person because they are afraid of things that are not mainstream. The loyalty the Addams have to one another proved to me people can have decent families who stick up for each other, unlike mine who’d sell you out for some dope. The Addams proved that your actions speak louder than your appearance, or any other shallow standard of personality judgement. It's a principle that has kept with me to this day.

Perhaps this is part of what has shaped my personality now. I took the good role models I found in Gothic media and made them a base for myself in life, because they felt more like my people than the ones who raised me. It’s why I don’t think of goth as a phase, because to me, it has seeped into everything I am. I experienced dark things at a young age, but also, all my positive role models came from the shadows. People like The Addams Family, and Lydia Deetz.

So romantic! 

My Disney Princess was Mortica Addams, and she taught me to be true to myself, to defend your family, to be passionate in all things, and to honor and cherish the love of your life. Her relationship with Gomez was a healthy, stable and passionate one. This is the one I wished to cultivate growing up, and I can say with pride that after many years of searching I have found my Gomez in Lord Bearington. He’s not rich, nor dresses like Gomez all the time, but he sure loves me like Gomez does.

Sometimes we are even creepy and kooky together!

And because I never gave up dreaming about it, I continue to cultivate a kind of “family” I dreamt about. I treat my friends who get close to me like family, and I respect and honor them even if I have very little to offer. They are treasures to me, as Mortica sees her family as treasures, because they accept me for who I am and even love me for my weirdness.

Sometimes, dreams do come true. You just have to know what you want and hunt it down. Did I mention I have loved wolves since I was 5 and learned to hunt from them? *smirk* 

Kweeny Krafts: The Bone Collector

This isn't going to be a horror-centric post per say, but it might be considered macabre to some folks. Sometimes horror is a spiritual thing in my life.To me it’s not really macabre to be interested in these things. I’m just talking about a different obsession of mine I wish to explore in more depth someday. I don't show a lot of spiritual stuff here, but I thought I'd make an exception today and talk about BONES.

Some deer bones I am in the process of working on.

I love bones. All shapes, sizes, and creatures. Skulls and skeletons, shards and fragments, I love them all. I love them so much I have taken to decorating some of the ones I have at the moment. A friend last year gave me half a deer already slightly decomposed, and I did my first ever cleansing of the bones. It was an awesome experience for me, and I learned a lot. I made some interesting mistakes. But nothing that was severely damaging to the bones and luckily, it was just on a half of deer carcass. It seemed like the prefect thing to learn to clean bones on.  

A lovely white deer bone, a parrot feather, and an owl feather with a bit of wolf fur and stones woven into it to use as a ritual feather. Also shown is my incense holder and fire-wand made of maple wood. 

I have always loved bones, even as a small child. Bones are what is left behind when everything else rots away. To me, bones are like looking into the hidden parts of a creature, seeing the real, raw truth of what it was. Bones remind us of death, whether we want that reminder of not. I find bones comforting for that, as well as intensely beautiful. The stark reality of what they are centers me, and I want to spend my life around that calming presence. (Of course I do love skins, carapaces, and feathers as well. I like animal parts in general, but my favorite part is the bones.)

I only realized recently that I wanted more bones in my life, due to being told all my life in negative tones that “girls shouldn't play with bones.” It’s bullshit, sure, but you’d be surprised how deep bullshit can burrow in your skull if it’s said enough times. I've never been a “proper” girl, nor do I care to be. I identify as Gender Queer anyhow.

I love more than bones too, as you can see by the coyote tail beside my coyote jaw piece. 

 But despite the negativity, I have not stopped loving bones, and have had encounters with them throughout my life. I still have one of the first pieces of real bone I ever collected. It’s a piece of a coyote’s jaw that I add to costumes on occasion, or just keep on my alter. I love it. And while I may not have always had real bones in my life, I've had tons of fake skulls and bones always around me, and researched bones in secret for my entire childhood.

I want to learn to hunt, to experience the full process of death. To kill, clean, eat and reverently keep the bones of a deer I took down. I think it would be a useful skill for everyone to learn, not just for the bones. I want to keep the bones as a reminder of the act, to understand the cycle of the hunter and of life and death.

If you are going to eat meat, you should know what it’s like to hunt it.

My snake Geoffrey leaves me gifts of his skin as he grows, and so until I mount them in a frame they are wrapped around my little raven stuffy for safe keeping.

Perhaps my obsession with bones is because of being exposed to so much death in my life.  One day I hope to get a skull tattoo (probably a lovely sugar skull) to honor all my beloved dead. If I tried to get a tattoo of them all, I’d cover most my body. Death has been a constant companion, and while I haven’t always been okay with it by my side so much, I do continue to treat it like a friend more than an enemy. It’s been a struggle as I have seen the violent, terrible side of death thanks to events like my mother’s suicide.  But ultimately, it is what it is. You cannot change it, it changes you. And death never leaves your side, even if you wish to ignore its presence. 

Living among the bones helps me find peace with death. It centers me and allows me to see the many aspects of death and how it affects my life and those around me. I don’t think of decorating bones as a desecration, but more of an act of reverence, like one might do to a sugar skull.  I would love for my beloved to be able to keep a part of me like my skull after I am gone, but I don’t know if that is possible. I would even allow him to have my skull decorated to reflect the soul of my bones.

Anyhow, after saying ALL THAT, let me show you my pretty little bone doodles I have made recently. I call them bone doodles because I am using markers at the moment, and just doodling on the bones. It’s really fun for me, and relaxing. Not sure what I am going to do with all of these. I have already given a few as gifts.

This one is more shiny as I put nail polish on to seal it. I want to try another method of sealing for the others, which are not sealed yet.

PS: If any of you lovely people have bones and you wish to impart them on me, I would be delighted to have them! Please email me and I will give you an address to send them to. I will give them a good home.  Some of my favorite animals if you are curious are ravens, crows, coyotes, snakes, sharks, spiders, beetles, bats and my all-time favorite, wolves. I will take any bones/bits of animals though, as all are beautiful to me.

I’m also working on an in progress “Death Shrine” that is going to be shaped like a coffin and full of mementos that people have sent me, as well as my own from dead loved ones. I made the first one a couple years after my mother died to help me work through some of the grief. When my friends saw it they were moved, and sent me things from their loved ones. I still have all those mementos, and with the help of my husband we are in time going to make an even better shrine than the first one which was made of paper-mâché. I think of myself as its keeper now, and find it helps with that acceptance of death stuff I try to cultivate in my life.I'm also really honored to hold such special tokens of death from others.

So yeah, I am the bone collector. I love them bones.

The Butler Reviews DEMONS

Ah the movie DEMONS. A beloved classic here in the Gory Kingdom. It's one that my Butler and I remember fondly. Today he took it upon himself to review this one for the blog, while I go and try to clean up some demon summoning gone wrong. I have some...expertise in this area you might say. Though I'm not Anthony Hopkins in The Rite, which despite how crappy a movie it is, has ANTHONY FUCKING HOPKINS in it possessed by demons. See this movie for his performance alone!

Anyhow, on with the show...

The Butler's Viewpoint

All right, just this once when I nip off for a pint I am going to sneak a very certain film I spied on the collection of the Dark Mistress here.  As I must confess it brought back a certain nostalgia to when I was a wee lad just growing up in the flats.

This time I am going to take a look at a classic, the Dario Argento film Demons.

Many will never have heard of this priceless gem of a horror movie, others I can imagine are almost giddy in delight just thinking of this long sought import.  For me this was my first exposure to just what could come out of a horror film, and what innovation and imagination could come from outside of the colonies here.  I was a mere teenager before my time in the Forces, enjoying a Good Friends and Bad Films night of Samhain delights, and on the VCR came this surprise. 

We start our film by meeting our first heroine, who is a student heading home on the subway when she starts to get nervous flashes of a man we'll call Destro.  Pursued through the station she runs into Destro only to find he is giving out free passes to a new theatre, the Metropol.  She accepts and even gets another ticket for a friend from the silent man in the half mask, and makes her way later that night for free entertainment.  Many others make their way to the theatre, with a mysterious motorcycle and sword armed rider holding a silver demon mask.  It is a strange display which will come into effect later.  The multitude of theatre goers include a wide demographic of people, including potential male interests for the two heroines.  Meanwhile one of the theatre goers decides to try on the demon mask and is cut by a small edge.  This will get important later.

Our theatre goers settle down and begin to watch our movie within a movie, a horror mystery movie that stars our motor bike as two young couples explore an old cemetery. One of the couples we see is a blind man and his female companion, having her describe what is going on. Later she meets her lover in the theatre while keeping her blind companion distracted by the movie.  Is short there is a lot of the typical nonsense of such a diverse group seeing a movie. 

In the movie within the movie the young couple open up a crypt and find an old book and an ancient mask...which oddly looks a lot like the one in the lobby.  Noting that the mask also causes a cut and in the book is supposed to spread demons and death.  Nervous, the young woman who tried the mask on in the lobby of the theatre has noticed her cut has started again and flees to the washroom. And here the film begins to get very interesting, with the woman in the washroom beginning to have corruption and fluid leak out of the cut...while in the movie in the movie the mask begins it possession as the couple begins to have the first violent episodes.

In true horror fashion our first theatre going leaves to check on what has happened to the woman who cut herself on the mask...leading a green drooling and foaming demon attacking and injuring our next contestant.  Her cries for help are drowned out by the violence of the movie in a movie, and so our first victim finds herself fleeing from her former demonic companion.  Meanwhile our guide for the blind man has left with her lover, leaving the blind man stumbling around looking for her.  Meanwhile our wounded victim soon finds her wounds also corrupting, and her screams can be heard in the theatre.  Finally she falls through the screen leading to the first hint to the entire public that something is wrong.  The first demon however has found the blind man's guide and her lover and brutally has them strangled.  Back in the original theatre the transformation of the victim continues and our heroines and their male protectors quickly note what is happening in the film is happening here.  And then the dead lovers plummet from the ceiling hanging from the rafters.

To say the “ick” level is getting pretty high, and our demonic victim ends her transformation and tears the neck apart of one of the viewers.  And our blind man finds the remains of his guide...only to have his eyes gored out by the first demon.  Panic ensues!

This is where the film takes on new levels, and the attendees as a mob flee for their lives to the main doors, and find out they have been literally bricked in!  More panic ensues but our Pimp Daddy takes charge to lead a search for the emergency exits.  People who foolishly split off from the group are killed gruesomely, and our male love interests and the pimp daddy start to form the first effective fighting unit of the theatre goers.  At this point having slain their first demon and looking for an options the fearless heroes decide the movie is to blame and thus must stop it.  They smash their way in to find automated projectors, so the clear conclusion is to completely destroy them.  Victory! 

At this point we first meet our Coke junkies out for a cruise, which is a disjoint but don't worry, they'll become useful later.  Back in the theatre they find the wounded blind man and his dead guide.  Pimp daddy insists the the body will reanimate showing a genre savvy outlook, but is resisted by the blind man.  They stumble across another demon who gets into a pitched battle with pimp daddy, who using his knife skills manages to spray the demon's ichor everywhere.  Eventually our imp daddy is overrun by demons but takes as many as he can with him.  Meanwhile the Coke junkies end up outside the theatre having spilled their literal Coke can.  Inside the theatre our heroes have gotten the everyone organized as they begin to tear the seats apart to build weapons and barricades.  They assign people to even bang on the walls, and keep outlooks out.  For once, pretty savvy people.

The wall bangers actually find success and knock a wall down into a new section of building.  However all they find are more bricked up walls, and despair kicks in for several of the female members of the group.  Back in the theatre the group settles down for what appears to be a long siege.  Outside the Coke Junkies have a local run with the police and flee, only to strangely be let in by a door to the theatre.  The police search around for a way in and uncover of all things the body of the blind man!  Guess that has uses...and he's not quite dead yet.  He strikes out at the police who open fire on the demon, and cut away to the Coke junkies making their way into the complex.  While the original theatre goers grow despondent, our Coke junkies have now made their way to the lobby, and start to stumble on glowie eyed demons. 

Back in the theatre they can hear the gunshots of the cops, leading most of the people to start tearing down the barricades.  Meanwhile the Coke Junkies quickly decide to start to fight and flee using an assortment of weapons.  And the original theatre is soon overrun while our main heroines and their partners dig a way out and run in the chaos.  At this point the four realize that one of the heroines caught a scratch from the demons and is now infected and corrupted too, forcing them to kill her, or at least try.  And then there was three.  Or rather two as one of the heroes becomes wounded, and knows his fate is to also become corrupted.  Staggering off he falls at the lobby display, and urges them to kill him before he turns with the sword from the display. 

And now the film takes another twist, as our remaining two decide to keep the sword, and the fully functional motorcycle and off they go on a full out slaying spree!  To heavy metal riffing they take the battle to the demons in an all terrain battle for survival!  The only thing missing is Reb Brown to make this a perfect over the top moment.  Then having successfully cleared the demons from the theatre a rumbling sound from overhead indicates a new twist.  Plunging through the roof is a helicopter and it's dead crew. 

Now debating their strange luck, and seeing the remaining demons gathering to see what the noise was they start up the crashed chopper blades to slay more demons.  Then they start to plan a way out through the roof.  A quick search and grappling hooks and guns are found, and they hurry to get their way out using the winch on the helicopter.  One last demon and our heroes are out!  Of course it can't be that easy and a new appearance by Destro tries to kill the heroes and force them back in.  Fortunately our heroine has learned to fight and first impales and then helps finishing him off.

Victory, or at least until they notice the other strange noises and gunfire outside.  Looking around, it appears our blind man demon has helped spread things and the city is in chaos!  And so the two last heroes try to flee, only to be pursued by the growing hordes of demons.  Losing hope at last, they start to lose the urge to keep running when a family fully armed to the teeth shows up.  Packing the heat they rescue our heroes and blaze a trail out of the city.  A hope spot for our last two...at least until the credits roll...

This film both terrified me and delighted me like no other film did at the time.  And now looking at it this is a remarkable piece of work.  In an age of CGI effects the amount of detail and effort put into the practical effects both disgust and stir wonder!  And the characters forge themselves well, and even get you cheering that the theatre goers aren't just “meat to the slaughter”, but rather just people who can indeed grow and be cheered in their fight to survive.  The soundtrack is such classic eighties, and everything is tightly written and even performed.

Looking back I find this is the film that got me to start to look at what else was out there from other countries.  Demons for me was like a gateway to a whole new world of cinema on many levels, and not just horror.  I think that is why finding this now on DVD it brings back so many wonderful memories of a VCR, Good friends, and in the end a good horror film.

Well time for this old warhorse to put the pint glass away and get back to the business of cleaning the place up.  I know they insist the cobwebs are part of the yearly decor, but it's just not proper!     

Kweeny Reviews Southern Psycho!

I’m not really known for doing music reviews, though I have done a few in the past. I do LOVE music. It’s a more private passion of mine, which is why I seldom do reviews of albums or talk of my musical preferences on the blog…Except if it’s about my love of OTEP of course.

But my awesome blog friend Nathan at Son of Celluloid had a really neat gift idea for his readers for Halloween. I've listened to it several times since and although Halloween is over for some, it’s never over for weirdo’s like me. Halloween and horror are more than once a year.  Despite the fact that some horror is pretty cheesy and silly, most horror fans take horror seriously.  And so do fans of Halloween I find.  It’s not hard to see that they overlap easily for folks.

And Nathan gave us all a little Halloween gift! Not only is this album ABSOLUTELY free, it’s full of wicked, head-banging madness! Southern Psycho Vol.1 is the start of something gruesomely great! It’s an eclectic mix of musical tastes, all of which I have never heard of and I am always happy to learn of new artists I don’t have easy access to in the west. Living out in Oregon, I tend to have a limited scope of horrifically inspired things, such as conventions, musicians, events, etc. They happen, just not often, and so when I see a band come out here I get really excited and do my best to support them. It’s a great treat to get a free soundtrack I can access from the land of hippies. I love my peace-loving chill friends, but finding darkly-inclined folks is hard when you’re in a small city like Eugene that acts more like a small town.

Another thing I love about the Southern Psycho is the feel of the album. There is some psycho-billy-punk-rock-face-melting stuff on this thing, as well as bands who clearly understand what horror-shock-rock is meant to sound like. The Southern feel of the Psycho is all there too, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. After a delightful opening by the Son of Celluloid himself, we then spiral downward into the album full force, as if we are pushed into a pit of horror-rock. 

Hard to say what my favorite song was, but if I had to pick some favs they were the funky I Wanna Be your Zombie by Crypt 24, The H.P. Lovecraft-inspired metal song Dunwich Horror by Tripping the Mechanism and the hilariously cheeky I Kicked Dracula’s Ass by The Creeping Cruds, which has an awesome opening that sounds very reminiscent of MST3K.

Don't get lippy with me Mister!

So if you haven’t picked up this fun, FREE album of rocking Halloweenie tunes, then you are missing out! Totally download this stuff by following this link and reading the instructions. You won’t be disappointed horror-rock fans. Totally head bang to this shit.

Now if you excuse me, I need to go kick Dracula’s ass. Maybe with some garlic attached to my shit-kickers for extra effect.