Genre Talk: Kweeny's Horror Movie Alphabet

In moments of inspired madness I get challenged to do crazy things from my friends. One such thing happened years ago, when my friend challenged me to do an entire alphabet using horror movies. I stumbled upon this piece of writing, and it made me think. Would I still choose the same movies for each letter of the alphabet as I did then? Would people find this at all interesting to read? Am I up way too late at night yet again? So many questions...(Please note: This list is purely based on what I could think up as far as movies go. At the time it wasn't about preference in movie, even if some on this list are favourites of mine. It's more about what fit the letter and popped into my head first.)

So here it is for you in all it's gory glory! 

KWEENY TODD'S ALPHABET OF HORROR MOVIES

Amittyville Horror

This is a classic tale that set when people think of haunted house movies, it's one of the first mentioned. It's not a hard plot line to follow either, and set the standard for a series of haunted house movies in it's wake. Stop me if you haven't heard this one: Family buys a house. The house is haunted. Bad ghosty stuff ensues. People feel trapped in house. Blah blah blah. Kinda slow film too, so you need to be patient to wait for the creepy bits. Though I think as ghost stories go, it's kinda boring. I just felt there was a lot of build up and not a lot of return. 

Battle Royale

Oh man, I love this film. It's friggen insane and a gorefest. Quick-and-dirty of the plot is the following: Some Japanese kids battle it out in a school in the future. A whole 9th grade class is chosen for slaughter and sent to an Island to battle for their LIVES AND EDUCATION! HUZZAH! So much blood. So many people killing each other. It's wicked fun.

Candyman

Classic Clive Barker. Say Candyman's name in the mirror and he will gut you like a fish. Candyman is based off of those legends like Bloody Mary. The story is beautiful in my opinion, and the music for this movie always haunts me. It's part love story, part horror, and Candyman is one of those monsters that really sits with me after the movie is done. I -feel- for him. I feel drawn to him, like he's a seductive serpent calling me to "be his victim". Oh and bees. In the mouth. Kinda like Mr. Burns and his bee dogs... but EVERYWHERE.

Demons

This is a silly, campy horror flick by Dario Argento. It's totally not the same style of films he normally does, but yet it spawned a bunch of hellish sequels. The cheese is thick in the Demons series folks, but lovable all the same if you're a horror dork like I am. Gods it's been years since I've watched these silly little monsters scamper across the screen tormenting people. 

Evil Dead

Seriously, do I have to explain? I suppose there are still people in the horrorverse who haven't seen this movie. Quick synopsis: Ash (played by Bruce "The Chin" Campbell) and his chums go up to a cottage in the woods and find a book bound in human flesh called the Necronomicon and summon demons that possess all his friends one by one. Very indie and old school cinematography but it just adds to the charm.

Feast

I wasn't sure I was gonna like this one actually, I kept avoiding it in the Blockbuster when Dave and I would go in to rent movies. It's pretty much same shit different pile, and did little to impress me. It follows a very typical situation. The set up is people being trapped in a bar (Dusk Till Dawn anyone?) and then fighting monsters. The monsters are kinda cool though, and the gore is great. So as much as I wasn't too impressed with the story layout, I was amused by the massacre. Aww, am I sadist much? *wicked smirk*

Ghoulies

Yeah, you know what I said about Demons? Ghoulies is pretty much the same thing. Though their not Demons really... I dunno their... well Ghoulies, wherever the fuck that means. I guess they are kinda like demons. They possess this old guys house that this couple moves into, and mess shit up. Demons is more fun in my opinion, though it doesn't have the level of crappy effects that produced some silly looking creatures. Like the above picture!

Hellraiser

"I'll tear your soul apart!" One of my favorite quotes of all time. This is one of my top favorite movies based off a book I love. Clive Barker is awesome. He just knows how to make monsters that never leave you, monsters that mark your soul forever and make you think deeply about your own darkness. And the Cenobites are the first monsters that kept me awake as a child for three nights straight. If you know nothing of this movie, then you don't know the power of the puzzle box.

Imprint

This is my favorite of the Masters of Horror movies. It's so fucking disturbing, but what do you expect from Takashi Miike? The guy is insane, and I love him for it. He creates such wild scenes of torture and human darkness that they haunt you. I want to say more, but I'd give this story away and I don't want people to throw things at me. Nor do I want pins shoved in my mouth... damn, I've said too much already.

Jeepers Creepers

You know, this is another film I was pleasantly surprised by. It got a bad rep by some reviewers, but I enjoyed it. It really started to grow on me. By mid-film I was getting into it, and loved some of the scenes. Not really into the sequels as much. I liked that in the first one, you saw very little of the creature itself. And it wore a trench coat. That was cute. 

Killer Clowns from Outer Space

Yes, there is a film with this title, and it is totally about Killer Clowns from Space. It is one of the funniest horror movies I've ever seen. I mean, films like this kinda remind me that just like there is a porn movie for everyone, there is a horror movie for everyone. Death by cotton candy anyone? 

Let the Right One In

This movie is amazing. I found it to be creepy, beautiful and lasting. Another film that will sit with me for a long time. The story is superb. The music, eerie and unsettling. The acting, was deep and effective. It's a slow film, but well worth it, because the story itself is so original and fresh for a vampire film. Yes, it's about vampires. Trust me, see this one. Hell, see it with people you love, like I did. 

Midnight Meat Train

Yup, another Clive Barker film. Do you sense my fannish love for Clive yet? This one is based off one of the many wonderful stories in the Books of Blood series. And other than one scene with Ted Raimi, the movie is wonderfully serious, dark and disturbing. Maybe that scene was because the effects went a little far, or maybe it's just Ted Raimi. I dunno, but I loved the film all the same and really thought the ending was great. It captured the despair and horror the ending of the story gave me the first time I read it. The monsters just win sometimes, no matter how hard you wish they wouldn't.

Night of the Living Dead

George A. Romero's classic black and white one for me please! The black and white just adds to it, don't you think? It adds something, the way when you don't see the gore in a movie does but know something horrible is happening. Zombies shambling around, eating people in black and white seems so much more potent sometimes for me. Well, unless I watch something like Zombie. But I'll get to that later.

Omen, The

*Sings 666 the number of the beast* This one is a slow moving film, and no, I don't care about the stupid remake. Remakes for the most part are dumb and make me SO ANGRY. But the old one, now that was well done. It was slow but had these moments that just grabbed your balls. Like the maid hanging herself. Always gets me. Oh, it's all for you Damian. It's always for you.

Planet Terror

FUCKING LOVED THIS FILM! It never tries to be anything but off-the-wall goretastic fun! Though I am still mad at the scene missing part! I want my hawt make out scene damn you! *Waves fist* But seeing Bruce Willis mutating into... I dunno...was damn cool. And right off the bat, the music and her stripping caught my interest. Oh Cherry Darling. Mmm...

Queen of the Damned

*Sigh* Not many Q movies to choose from I'm afraid, so this one is on here. Which I considered just another long, drawn out music video that has barely ANYTHING to do with the books. It reminds me of a fan made movie some kids put up on Youtube when one of their friends TOLD THEM the plot of Queen of The Damned and The Vampire Lestat. And I say books,because lazy, money-grabbing Hollywood took two books and squished them together, taking out anything RELEVANT to the story and peeing on it. Yes, PEEING ON IT. I said it, and I mean it. (Why can't someone make horror movies based on my life? I'd make an awesome Q horror movie But I digress... ) Though, there is one scene I loved...Lestat and Akasha in the tub, with the roses... FUCKING HAWT. I could watch that all day.

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Yes, it's a musical. But it's a HORROR musical! Which in my books, makes it made of pure win! The music rocks, the gore is awesome (the guy who did Saw directs it so...) and I have to say, even Paris Hilton is awesome in this film. I never thought I'd say that, but heck, I can change my opinion of someone if they prove their worth to me. Though the role she has isn't that far from the truth of who she is. I'm just saying. 

*Sings* I AM ONLY LIVING OUT A LIEEEEE!!!!!!!

Slither

So, these space creatures end up on earth, and they are giant leeches or something, and they get into your head. It sounds kinda lame as premises go, and nothing that hasn't been done before except the way this film is done is hilarious! It's just completely campy fun, and never pretends to be anything else. And it has great cameos in it like Troma's Llyod Kaufman! Some scenes even try to gross you out, but I'm hard to gross out these days. The creature effects were amazing though.

Tale of Two Sisters

I chose this one for T, because I didn't want another campy movie. I could have chosen Tales From the Crypt or something like that. But I like variety in my horror. My taste in horror ranges from silly gorefests to deep psychological stuff. This one has a twist ending that seems a little obvious as you reach the end, but the movie is so strange, so wonderfully bizarre and creepy it doesn't matter. Two sisters return home after they have stayed in a mental hospital. That is how the movie starts. From then on you get the weird dynamics of the family, strange haunting images and unsettling moments that build and build. It's a film I'd recommend, but not for a party of drunken college kids. It was a little slow for one of my horror nights.

Uzumaki

This one is based off a comic of similar name, and the name in English is translated to Spiral. It's based off a manga which I am told is even creepier. This is one creepy movie, and sometimes hard to really get into. It's about a town taken over by evil spirals. Seriously. It's just weird, and I dunno how to describe it any other way. I never thought I'd be unnerved by a spiral, and then I saw this movie. It took a symbol I consider sacred and well...creeped me out with it. Good job movie. Good job. 

Vampires

Guess what this movie is about? Oh John Carpenter, you think you can do vampire films! You're so cute. Ok, so it's not all bad, it has some good scenes in it and some ass kicking hunters, but I dunno. It falls short for me in some ways. The story sometimes seems a little trite, the action scenes too over the top. It's not bad, but it's not a winner. Can't love all the movies on this list now can I? Hell, I bashed Queen of the Damned pretty hard there.

Warlock

Oh man, I was 14 when I saw this movie. I can barely remember it, but it was pretty damn epic. There was that hot blonde guy who played the warlock, and he was so intense! He had these fucking eyes that could rip your clothes off from a distance! RAWR. And the scene I remember the most is when he possesses that chick and takes out her eyes, doing his hocus pocus with them! That was cool when I was 14. Good times.

X Files - Fight the Future 

I have a confession, I was a huge dork for the X files. Some of the creepiest shit I saw was on that show. I made little collages of Mulder and Skully in my journals. So yes, I saw the first movie when it came out. And I got pissed when that damn bee ruined a perfectly good kissing scene. But you know what? It's just not any fun anymore when they did get together. I mean, I bitched all those years ago when they would tease the viewer, but as I get older I appreciate a good tease. Strange how time gives you new perspectives on things huh?

Yeti

Yes, I saw a movie called Yeti. Yes, they made a damn movie called Yeti, and it is as advertised by the name. This is a somewhat recent film too, came out in 2009. So a bunch of stupid college kids are on a plane and they fly over the Himalayas, and guess what? It crashes. Guess what else happens? The Abominable Snow Man gets pissed. So many people are killed, and there's some cannibalism cuz the filmmakers watched ALIVE! before making this film and it's pretty lame all things considered. But it started with a Y. 

Zombie

This is a movie with many names. It's called Zombi 2 and Zombie Flesh Eaters depending on where you are and who you ask. The music is sometimes a little dated, but I love the drum beats throughout it. Very voodoo feel. And there is one scene in it that actually makes me squick. I just hate seeing things get driven into people's eyes. To me, that is the worst thing ever. I guess that's why I'm nervous about wearing contact lenses. But yeah, as the name implies, there are walking corpses going around killing people. Very voodoo-esk zombies though, hence the music comment.

AND THAT IS MY LIST FOLKS!

There you go. A list to choose from when you want a horrific night. I hope at the very least it was entertaining to read. Enjoy boils and ghouls!