Today for the Halloween Movie Marathon I decided to dedicate my viewing to the Mistress of the Dark herself: Elvira! I have quite a few of her movies, and I watched them all. Then I found some episodes of her show The Search For The Next Elvira, and watched that too! That's a lot of crazy Elvira love to pack into one day!
Here's the low-down of all my Elvira viewing:
Kweeny's Rating: Elvira comes with her own airbags!
Summary: This is Elvira's tribute to the old classic Hammer films. It's very much inspired by Edger Allen Poe's Pit and the Pendulum, starring Vincent Price. It's very true to that style of film, and shows her love of those films, while making silly Elvira style hijinks. I really love this film, and I think it might be my favorite of her motion pictures.
And then I watched 4 movies of Elvira's Movie Macabre! Yep, I watched the shlock of shlock films, just so I could get glimpses of the hostess with the mostess! She makes watching these terrible movies bearable.
Kweeny's Rating: You call him a stud?
Summary: This one is actually the best of the worst Elvira hosts. (At least in my collection.) You can tell there is a plot, even if it's terrible, and that it's about the Countess of vampires trying to bring Dracula back through this asshole in the picture. I don't even remember his name because it doesn't really matter. And "Lady Dracula" likes to lure stupid girls to her castle to bathe in their blood and use them for rituals. You know, typical vampire stuff...*rolls eyes*
Kweeny's Rating: You call that FRANKENSTEIN?
Summary: In this one Dr. Frankenstein is a COUNT for some reason, and he finds Neanderthals and turns one into "The Monster". There's a lot of sexpoloitation in this, when the little person who used to be an assistant of the count teaches a neanderthal how to rape women! It's a really crazy film.
Kweeny's Rating: Where Plot?
Summary: Like I said, I have no idea what the main plot is of this one. There's like 14 sub-plots and they all run into each other like a train wreck. I THINK the end of the movie was trying to make a joke, but since the movie is so convoluted it just makes you wanna shoot the screen with a crossbow. I believe the story is about a bunch of rich brats spending time in their dead fathers house to try and get his fortune.
Kweeny's Rating: Vampy Campy
Summary: In this one, four women turn into vampires as they become brides of Count Dracula. I dunno where the GREAT LOVE part comes in, because it seems to me Dracula can give his "love" to anyone. I think Dracula is trying to bring his daughter back, so she may be his great love, but with the terrible pacing, plot, acting, dubbing, etc, who knows what's really going on.
And that's not all...
Kweeny's Rating: Beehive Me Elvira!
Summary: I finished my marathon out with two of the four episodes I found on Hulu. The basic premise is people try to transform themselves into Elvira, and it's pretty entertaining to watch! I mean no one can truly be The Mistress of the Dark, but it's sure fun to watch them try! It was a great way to end my marathon!
Phew! That was an intense day of movie-watching! But I have another day coming, when I go and watch the AMC marathon of HALLOWEEN movies! Gonna do some tomorrow! Stay tuned!
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