HHMMM: Day 31

It's my holiday and I'll stab a bitch if I want to!

Well today marks the end of my Halloween Countdown and Horror Movie Marathon Madness! *sniffle* Parting is such sweet sorrow. I have a few more movies to end with, and a little treat! I was invited on the NW Nerdcast, so you can hear my exceptional geekiness talk about horror, gaming and more horror!  It's a great podcast especially if you're a dirty gamer like me! What kind of movies did I dig up from beyond the grave? Well, I started exploring Hulu to see what free stuff I could find, and there she was! The Mistress of the Dark herself with new shows to enjoy on Movie Macabre! 

They're coming to get you Barbara! 

So here are my picks for Halloween. One movie I thought was part of Movie Macabre, wasn't but I watched it anyway because it had Tom Selleck. LOL! That mustache...

Blinded by the poor special effects!

Elvira's Movie Macabre: I Eat your Skin (1hr 32 mins/1964)

Kweeny's Rating: *Dances to drum beats*

Summary: This one draaaags on, but if it wasn't for Elvira popping in and out and making hilarious jokes I think I would have fallen asleep. There's a bunch of "voodoo" stuff in it, because the zombies are made through voodoo magic, but it's all hokey as hell. I did enjoy it though, because Elvira sings a song to the tune of Gilligan's Island about the characters in the film! Best part of the movie!

Did someone call for some hairy MAN CANDY? 

Daughters of Satan (90 mins/1972)

Kweeny's Rating: Tom Selleck mustache goodness! 

Summary: Ooooh man! I started watching this one because I thought it was part of the Hulu Movie Macabre collection and it just played right after the last one. Of course, little did I know I was on a journey into a steaming pile of SATAN WORSHIPING! Wooo hooo! And then I saw in the credits Tom was in it and I was just like, "Oh be still my heart. 70's shlock with Tom Selleck!" So now I know what movie I shall force upon Mad Jester for our next AMFY's segment! *evil cackles* Actually, I got a few I can use thanks to this movie marathon! Not gonna run out of shlock any time soon!

Elvira's Movie Macabre: Night of the Living Dead (120 mins/1968)

Kweeny's Rating: Classic meets Elvira! *squeee!*

Summary: Okay, this completed my Halloween. Sure, it's not the last movie I watched, but it is the BEST I watched today. I love George A. Romero's classic, and I love Elvira! So putting them together is like a nightmare come true! This was her way of relaunching her Movie Macabre series, and I can't really think of a better and more suitably Elvira way to do it! Old classic zombie films and Elvira are just meant to be!

That's right camera, look at my butt! LOOK AT IT! 

Elvira's Movie Macabre: The House That Screamed (99 mins/1969)

Kweeny's Rating: Screaming for Elvira!

Summary: So I finished my movie marathon with this movie...which is a bit of a snore-inducer. Luckily Elvira is there to make things at least bearable. She get's paid to put up with these terrible movies, what's my excuse? I suppose I am a horror masochist. I figure watching the bad makes you appreciate the good things in horror all the more. And I like to have fun with my horror. Somehow watching these AWFUL movies is actually fun for me. Some people watch terrible Sci-Fi or Fantasy. I watch horror! DON'T JUDGE ME!

*cough* So anyhow Darlings, Sweeney is telling me it's almost time for costumes and tricks...I mean, TREATS! Yes, I would never TRICK anyone. No, not at all...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN BOILS AND GHOULS! 

Hopefully you are having a spooktacular one! I will be back again don't you fret with more blogging madness, but if you don't see me for a few days it's because I am resting my head from all the crazy movies I watched. I'm telling you, some of these are heaping piles of cracked-out bad, and I will need a few days to remember what good cinema is. See you later gang!

Sweeney says: Might as well face it Kweeny, your addicted to shlock! 

HHMMM: Day 30

Aaaah Devil's Night, or as some know it, All Hallows Eve! Tomorrow ghouls and ghosties will trick or treat! Pumpkins will be carved and alight with flame, people will decorate their houses with monsters...*contented sigh* The one day of the year where I am a normal person, and no one looks at me with sideways glances or asks me about where I got my hair dye and tattoos! FOR I AM JUST ANOTHER CREATURE AMONG CREATURES! *cackles madly*

Anyhow, I got a couple more movies in for the Marathon, and I will try to get a few more in before tomorrows end. I will feel a bitter sweet pain once Halloween is over. But as you all know:

My movie picks for today where:

Chillerama (1 hr. 52 mins/2011)

Kweeny's Rating: Friggen HILARIOUS!

Summary: I love, love, LOVE this terrible, awesome movie! The first time I saw this with Lord Bearington we cracked up laughing, because it's just ridiculous fun. It's so well made that you can tell the bad effects are done on purpose, and that they had fun making it. The stories in this collection are over the top and weird, but still paying tribute to old drive-in movies you might have watched as a kid. I remember drive-ins, and miss them to bits. There is something wonderful about watching films under a starry night sky.

Dead Snow (91 mins/2009)

Kweeny's Rating: Braiiinnnssssss...

Summary: Since I was on a good-bad movie kick, I popped this one in after Chillerama. I mean, LOOK at the picture here! It's about undead NAZI zombies! How can you not love that? It even starts off with the typical tropes of a bunch of young people go up to a cabin in the woods and BAM! Evil Dead *cough* I mean snow-covered-Nazi-zombies...It's a fun film. 

And that's it for today! Very close to the witching hour now...I shall greet Halloween soon! 

Halloween Countdown: Guest Post for FEAR!

For more Halloween goodness, I have an author guest post, bio and excerpt of the anticipated horror anthology FEAR!  Feel free to check out other stops on the novel's tour through the Book Me! site! Also, there's a pretty sweet giveaway connected to ths anthology. Give it a look: 


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Guest Post:

Why London is too busy for ghosts - by Die Booth

  

A while ago I met up with a friend who used to live in Chester but had moved to London a few years earlier. During the course of our evening’s conversation he said one thing that really struck me. Apparently, back in Chester, he had been - unbeknownst to me at the time - something of a medium. Despite being so interested in the supernatural and writing mainly horror, I’m about as sensitive as a brick wall (I’ll touch more on that later) but he, apparently, sees dead people - or, at least, used to.

“Sometimes I’d walk down Castle Drive, down by the river, in the middle of the night. It’s a terrifying place on your own in the dark,” he told me, “I’d sense and see things.” He also apparently used to see someone standing over his bed whenever he slept in his mother’s house. But since moving to London, he’s not seen a single spooky thing. “I think it’s too busy for ghosts in London,” he said, and that got me thinking.

I, the brick wall, have seen a couple of things in my lifetime that I haven’t been able to explain away, but whilst they've most been in broad daylight, they've all been in Chester and when very few other people have been around. There are many theories on what ghosts are. Stone Tape Theory, where bricks and stones (namely, buildings) ‘record’ energy from the past in their fabric to replay - when you demolish the building, you get rid of the ghosts. Theories that suggest bodies of water (especially underground) - like rivers - act in the same way. Ghosts are often seen as sort of electrical waves or impulses, universal interference as it were. They cause electromagnetic fluctuations in the air that can be picked up on specialist equipment, their voices can be captured as EVP on recording devices.

You have to wonder, though, why ghosts are usually seen by lone individuals at night though. Often on stairs or in pub toilets or creepy isolated cellars, why is it that they always target the loners? Is it because people on their own are more paranoid, more prone to nervous flights of fancy - or is it because if you’re with friends then you’re taking notice of your mates and can easily miss any external happenings, while if you’re alone then you’re taking much more notice of your surroundings? It’s something to think about. Apparently, a lot of ghost sightings happen on stairs - stairs being the one place in a building where there’s virtually guaranteed to be absolutely no external distractions; no television, no radio, not even any furniture.  You can take this theory further, too. In the good ol’ haunted days, people looked around more. It’s true. If your friend went to the toilet and you were left waiting for them in the haunted bar, you had nothing better to do than sit around and wait for the ghost to show up. Now, you can see any number of heads in bars bent over iphones, totally immersed in technology and unaware of surroundings. People walking home at night are listening to their ipods, not to the clip-clopping of ghostly hooves. It’s difficult to imagine that the protagonist of Oh Whistle and I’ll Come to You My Lad would have been quite so intimidated by the figure on the beach if he’d been listening to the Kaiser Chiefs through his earbuds. People these days are just too busy for ghosts.

If you subscribe to the ghosts-as-electrical-energy theory, you can take this idea one step further, too. With more and more gadgets permanently fired up around our homes, more radio waves and broadband and satellite television and microwaves, isn't it possible that the ghost-frequency-signals might be suffering from interference and that’s why the lone midnight traveller on the quiet county road sees more ghosts than harassed fluorescent-lit office workers in the big city.

With this in mind, I wrote my short story ‘To Be Heard’ which features in the Crooked Cat charity anthology ‘Fear’. It’s about how modern day Londoners are too busy and detached to see ghosts any more, and what the ghosts are going to do about it. I’m sure some ghosts are still seen, despite electrical interference and people who don’t really take notice of their surroundings. I’m sure that, often, people don’t even realise that the person they've just passed on the stairs wasn't alive. Who knows - you might have passed a ghost in the street today and not even realised it.

Excerpt:

Die Booth - To Be Heard

There’s something nasty in my flat.

I moved in here last August and I never liked it. It’s like a cupboard, although I suppose that’s par for the course here, and the bathroom walls get all this black damp on when you have a shower because there’s no ventilation but there still manages to be draughts somehow. It’s freezing. Maybe that’s where the atmosphere comes from, like, cold spots like you read in ghost stories. It’s just not a nice place, something I can’t quite define. About a month after I moved in, I started to feel it – a sort of paranoia I suppose, a dizzy, disorienting feeling like an invisible hand on the back of your neck, like when you've watched a horror film on your own at night and you know logically that there’s nothing to be afraid of but you still look over your shoulder when you’re cleaning your teeth before bed. I think I just don’t like living on my own; I only felt like that when I was in the flat, outside in the anonymous bustle of the crowds I was ignored again, but unwatched.

Die Booth Bio:

Die Booth lives in Chester, UK and enjoys cake, old things and dancing the gothic two-step. When not exploring abandoned places or attending Chester Writers, Die writes speculative fiction for places like Litro and the Fiction Desk, has recently co-edited the 'Re-Vamp' anthology and is currently rewriting and illustrating 'Beauty and the Beast' for a charity fairytale anthology called 'The Art of Fairytales'. You can visit Die at http://diebooth.wordpress.com/ or https://www.facebook.com/pages/Die-Booth/159600975597

HHMMM: Day 29

Despite the cold I am getting over, my worries about my friends in the East and Hurricane Sandy, I got a few movies in for the madness. Only two more days until Halloween! I feel like I already had my Halloween fun, but I still plan to dress up on Wednesday and hang with some friends. Also, my lovely friend Maynard interviewed me for his blog, so I'm still keeping the Halloween spirit alive. Got a few more things in store on Kweeny Todd before the month is officially over! Sweeney would be pissed if I tossed in the towel before we hit the finish line!

The Tall Man (106 mins/2012)

Kweeny's Rating: A very interesting premise.

Summary: I had no expectations going into this one. I didn't hear much about but, but a couple friends of mine had been talking about it on a horror forum I am a part of, so I gave it a shot. It wasn't bad at all! While the twist wasn't what I was expecting, that's part of what makes it refreshing. Give this one a try, but don't expect it to end like you think it should. It might disappoint you then.

Abbott and Costello Meet The Mummy (79 mins/ 1955)

Kweeny's Rating: Hilarious Fun!

Summary: I love these kinds of films, especially with Abbott and Costello! When these two stumble upon an ancient Egyptian artifact, hi-jinks ensue! Because people want the amulet, and of course Lou and Bud don't just give it over. Oh no, they have to revive the mummy from it's slumber!

Hopefully tomorrow I can get a few more movies in before the end of this marathon. I am going to take a break once this is over. Probably watch some other things for a few weeks like Once Upon A Time. I need to catch up!

HHMMM: Day 28

I only have a few more days of horror movie madness left, so I am making the most of it as best I can. Today I got quite a few movies in. Some good, others...well...At least I started with a good classic!

The Mummy (73 mins/1932)

Kweeny's Rating: IMOTEP!

Summary: A classic story, of love, death and mummies! Boris Karloff is amazing in this! I love his performance as Ardeth Bey, otherwise known as Imotep! Poor Imotep is condemned and buried alive for sacrilege, but when a scroll is found along with his sarcophagus, he is brought back from the dead to find his long lost love. 

"You will not remember what I show you now, and yet I shall awaken memories of love... and crime... and death... "

11/11/11 (87 mins/2011)

Kweeny's Rating: I can't get those minutes back...

Summary: Wow. This was an absolute waste of my time. What a terrible movie. The acting was wooden, the plot...totally ripped off of better movies like Rosemary's Baby and The Omen. At least I ended up watching The Omen after just to get the bad taste of out my mouth from this. And apparently  there is another movie with the same name on Netflix. If it's as bad as this one, maybe I should ignore it. I know this picture looks cool, but this is probably one of the better death scenes in this.

The Omen (111mins/1976)

Kweeny's Rating: 666

Summary: Ah, now this was much better! If I am gonna watch a movie about the son of Satan (or reincarnation of Satan, etc) I want quality! I mean, Damian was born of a jackal! That's bad ass! And they don't have to resort to showing EVERYTHING because they know people will pick up on hints and references! Sometimes you just can't beat classics.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (97 mins/1988)

Kweeny's Rating: It is not hands that call us! It is...desire...

Summary: This and the first Hellraiser always hold a special place in my heart. The rest of the series kinda goes downhill from here (except I do like parts of Bloodlines) but this movie is still pretty good. Probably because Clive Barker still had creative control when making it. The scene in the picture is particularly a fav of mine, though I have a few favorites in this. If you'd like more of a comprehensive review I've done on the entire series, just click on this link here. I have such sights to show you.

And that's the list for tonight! I'm probably gonna have some weird dreams after all the stuff I watched today.  Maybe I need to watch something funny to make it completely nuts in my head! 

Monster of the Week: Artificial Intelligence

Sarah Connor: You're terminated, fucker.

Machines, A.I, Robots. They all tend to fall in this category, and there are plenty of films and shows that showcase them. Like Aliens, they tend to border the worlds of Sci-fi and horror. When done well, it can be a terrible but awesome marriage, showing us our fears of technology. When done horribly, we get some laughable examples.

They aren't exactly monsters in the traditional sense, because they aren't made of living tissue. they can transform, but not by morphing anything resembling flesh. It can be argued they are constructs, but because the origins of what makes robots or A.I possible, I put them in their own category. There are quite a few examples of their appearance being monstrous in stories. I just don't think they are traditionally thought of as monsters. But when people fear something, they can turn anything into a monster. Just look at Killer Clowns. You can take anything normally harmless and twist it in your mind. You're toaster might be trying to kill you.

There are a couple of tropes used with A.I's. One is they are the ultimate peasant uprising. A warning not to make the mistake of the past and treat someone with a mind as if they did not have one. Another horrific trope is the creation of your own god, also known as making your replacement.  In a lot of ways, the build your own god trope is an extension of the Golem trope. They are very close in proximity. We made them, and now they are so much better than us. In a mechanistic world, we are obsolete and thrown away. And of course the common one used: Fear of the other, which I have already touched on. Because they just don't think like we do.

Usually when people fear A.I's it's because something has gone wrong while they were created, or because they have such an "alien" way of thinking, they don't know that humanity cannot handle their motivations. Some stories told show humanity warping the robot mentality by being cruel to it, or it observing our cruelty to a degree it adapts to project what it sees, or by threatening the "life" it has been given. Movies like The Animatrix show this beautifully. That we created our own demise because we took advantage of the robots we made, turning them into slaves, and worse. Another is Terminator. Skynet made the killer robots to protect itself.

In the end, the fear of technology is what the monster of the A.I represents. We create them with science, and when science goes wrong it can destroy more than mere human life.

Here is a nice sampling of some of my favourite horrific tales about robots and A.I gone wrong. A lot of these you might not even considered to have horror elements in them:

The original Terminator movie was a horror movie back in it's time. I know a few people would argue it, but think about it: A robot out of no where who has no reservations about cutting his own eyeball out and killing people for their clothes comes after you. And he wants to kill you. You don't friggen know why, you don't know how to stop him, and no one believes you until it's too late. Oh, and he can appear human looking.

Freaky shit. And it was done to BE freaky. The other movies later became more action-oriented, but the first one was a scary movie.

As I mentioned above, The Animatrix. Not all of it, but the story about what made the machines turn, is horrific .This story is called The Second Renaissance and it's in two parts. The torture scenes are particularly gruesome when the machines operate on people they've captured from the battle field. War is horror folks. Real horror. I never watch a war film and think anything different.

Here's a movie people might not consider horror, but I think still qualifies and is very dark. It's called 9 and it's a Tim Burton film. While it's so much more, the terrible reality of that universe that these cute little robotic puppets live in is scary. And the robots who take the souls of the puppets...not the nicest creations I've ever encountered.

And the classic 2001: Space Odyssey has one of the scariest A.I's of them all. Everyone remember's Hal 9000 right? How he goes a little loopy and no one knows why, but he starts to try to kill everyone on the ship. That's some classic techno-fear right there.

So, what's your favourite horrific A.I tale? Do you ever wonder what you'd do if a robot you lived with went crazy and tried to kill you? Do you think they should be treated as people if we give them enough intelligence to feel pain, and even love?

HHMMM: Day 27

Lord Bearington and I had a lovely time at the Fairytale Themed Halloween party last night. Lots of fun, games, food and friends. I even got to dusk off the old tiara and felt like a Fey Queen for a night. It was Fabulous! Thank you to the hosts for the lovely time.

So today I got a few more movies in for the Marathon, while fighting a cold. I guess I partied too hard lately, and this was my body's way of saying so. Here are my contributions to THE MADNESS:

 Demons (88 mins/1985)

Kweeny's Rating: Demon Apocalypse!

Summary: So Lord Bearington had never seen the insanity that is this movie. I had to show him, plus it has awesome transformations so I can't go wrong with that! I think the special effects are the best part of this film. I mean there's no real plot, and as his Lordship said, "This movie has all the you want in a movie, even if it makes no friggen sense to have in there!" And that sums it up doesn't it? But it's still fun to watch!

Maniac Cop (85 mins/1988)

Kweeny's Rating: He's a Maniac... *sings*

Summary: Wow, I had forgotten how terrible this movie is. The 80's was filled with movies like these. But you know what? It had Bruce Campbell. I love watching young Bruce on screen. The polt of the movie is basically this cop looses his shit and starts killing people, as well as cops. Bruce Campbell's character gets framed for the crazy man you see in this picture. He's the real killer. but he looks kinda like a zombie, even though I don'tThe Cal think they meant him to look that way. he had a terrible accident that deformed him like that but damn dude...he's got bits falling off and everything.

The Caller (92 mins/2011)

Kweeny's Rating: Don't Call Me Anymore

Summary: I asked his Lordship to pick a random movie to watch, and he chose this one. So I blame him for wasting 92 mins of my life. I mean, the premise has potential, but I get tired of weak-willed women letting people push them around. And this happens to Mary A LOT. She wouldn't even be in this mess if she put her friggen foot down to begin with. I tend to yell at the screen a lot during movies like this one, because I hate when characters do STUPID THINGS just to advance the plot. It's not necessary to tell your story!

And that's my movie picks for tonight. Gonna watch some RuPaul's Drag Race before bed, and hopefully I won't dream of transforming into a Maniac-Cop-Demon who prank calls my neighbors.

HHMMM: Day 25

So today's mix of movies is a little more eclectic. I watched a few new ones, and one I've seen before but never grow tire of. I'm really happy I finally got to see The Devil's Carnival, and that it just happened to be on Netflix instant! Rock on! Tomorrow I think I will not have as many movies, but since I am STILL watching Devil's Carnival as I type this, I will count it towards tomorrow's movie watching. I have a party I am going to tomorrow night. It's Fairy-tale themed, so I won't be dressing as undead Bonny and Clyde.


First off, I shall record the fact I watched the remaining two episodes of The Search For The Next Elvira! 

 (90 mins of awesome/2007)

Kweeny's Rating: Beehive Me Elvira!

Summary: I actually ended up staying up the night I said I was watching this and watched ALL the episodes. I really wanted to see who would win. Sure enough, the girl I liked best won. This fine lady in the picture is named April, and she just had the best Elvira impression of all the girls chosen. And look at her? She's totally got the um...outfit filled out if you know what I mean. I love her personality too. She's such a geek it's adorable!

Fragile (101 mins/2005)

Kweeny's Rating: Breakable

Summary: While this movie had a few interesting things to say about death, it wasn't exactly impressive. I see where they were trying to go with this one, but it fell flat for me. I felt a little bored at times, and that's not a good sign. This one was a Fangoria Frightfest pick, so I am a little disappointed in it. I expected more from Fangoria.

Let The Right One In (115 mins/2008)

Kweeny's Rating: A proper vampire film

Summary: If you don't know this already, I love this movie. I love it to pieces. It's deep, emotional, and has a great cast. Let Me In has nothing on this one, because this movie really captures the brutality  sorrow, and horror of the book. I like my vampires to be predators. To retain the monster within them. They don't sparkle for me. A proper vampire in my books wears the skin of a human but it's smile is deadly. you should feel uneasy around them despite their perceived innocence or beauty. They should be immortal monsters, liars with cherub faces. Hell, they don't even need the angelic faces to make me happy. but if they must be beautiful, they better have the cruelty to back up their "vamp" side.

The Devil's Carnival (55 mins/2012)

Kweeny's Rating: Devilish

Summary: I am a huge fan of horror musicals, and especially Repo! The Genetic Opera, so when I heard the creators of Repo! got together to do another dark musical, I was excited! I've been waiting to see this for some time, and now Netflix gives me a gift on instant, just in time for my Marathon! YAY! was it any good? Well, I am enjoying it so far. I suppose I will have to do a in-depth review later when I have more time and have watched it through. Until then, let's just say I am entertained at least.





Now time for bed readers. An evil fairy Queen needs her beauty rest. I want to be ready to cast spells tomorrow. 

HHMMM: Day 24

Today I did my Halloween Marathon with the help of AMC. They were airing a few Halloween movies and since they are extra points if watched on AMC today I figured I'd snag a few and catch up. Sadly I didn't get all four, but I got three.

HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (94 mins/2002)

Kweeny's Rating: Let the dangertainment begin!

Summary: This movie is probably the WORST in the Halloween series. It's just so...BUSTA RHYMES! SERIOUSLY? He kills Mike Myers? And why does Lori die like in the first 10 mins? It's just terrible. Hilariously terrible, but still terrible. I find myself saying stupid lines from this one after I watch it. Like, "TRICK OR TREAT, MOTHERFUCKER!" I usually get weird looks, especially from Lord Bearington. 

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (88 mins/1988)

Kweeny's Rating: He's Baaaack!

Summary: I think at this point Dr. Loomis is pretty tired of Mike's antics. If I was him I would be. It's 10 years later, and Mike's back to stab again, and again, and again...

The mask has some creepy charm though doesn't it? It's just so iconic. Mike's dead eyes staring back at you from those hollow eye slits is so creepy. 

Halloween (91 mins/1978)

Kweeny's Rating: Originals Rule!

Summary: Recognize the pumpkin? Whenever this intro starts up with the awesome music, I get chills. Not because it scares me like it did when I was 5, but because of the memories. This movie started me down the path of becoming an obsessive horror geek. It will always hold a special place in my heart. It has great atmosphere, tension, and wonderful acting. I dunno why Rob Zombie thought this story needed to be explained to death, because I love the mystery of it all. The fact you don't know why Mike snaps. You just know he's a little broken, and never, ever stops coming.

And that was my night! I dunno what I will do tomorrow, but I am sure I'll find some fun movies to watch. 

HHMMM: Day 23

Today for the Halloween Movie Marathon I decided to dedicate my viewing to the Mistress of the Dark herself: Elvira! I have quite a few of her movies, and I watched them all. Then I found some episodes of her show The Search For The Next Elvira, and watched that too! That's a lot of crazy Elvira love to pack into one day!

Here's the low-down of all my Elvira viewing:

Elvira's Haunted Hills (90 mins/2001)

Kweeny's Rating: Elvira comes with her own airbags!

Summary: This is Elvira's tribute to the old classic Hammer films. It's very much inspired by Edger Allen Poe's Pit and the Pendulum, starring Vincent Price. It's very true to that style of film, and shows her love of those films, while making silly Elvira style hijinks. I really love this film, and I think it might be my favorite of her motion pictures.

And then I watched 4 movies of Elvira's Movie Macabre! Yep, I watched the shlock of shlock films, just so I could get glimpses of the hostess with the mostess! She makes watching these terrible movies bearable.

Elvira Presents: Devil's Wedding Night (98 mins/1973)

Kweeny's Rating: You call him a stud?

Summary: This one is actually the best of the worst Elvira hosts. (At least in my collection.) You can tell there is a plot, even if it's terrible, and that it's about the Countess of vampires trying to bring Dracula back through this asshole in the picture. I don't even remember his name because it doesn't really matter. And "Lady Dracula" likes to lure stupid girls to her castle to bathe in their blood and use them for rituals. You know, typical vampire stuff...*rolls eyes*

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (108 mins/1974)

Kweeny's Rating: You call that FRANKENSTEIN?

Summary: In this one Dr. Frankenstein is a COUNT for some reason, and he finds Neanderthals and turns one into "The Monster". There's a lot of sexpoloitation in this, when the little person who used to be an assistant of the count teaches a neanderthal how to rape women! It's a really crazy film.

Legacy of Blood (95 mins/1971)

Kweeny's Rating: Where Plot?

Summary: Like I said, I have no idea what the main plot is of this one. There's like 14 sub-plots and they all run into each other like a train wreck. I THINK the end of the movie was trying to make a joke, but since the movie is so convoluted it just makes you wanna shoot the screen with a crossbow. I believe the story is about a bunch of rich brats spending time in their dead fathers house to try and get his fortune.

Count Dracula's Great Love (97 mins/1973)

Kweeny's Rating: Vampy Campy

Summary: In this one, four women turn into vampires as they become brides of Count Dracula. I dunno where the GREAT LOVE part comes in, because it seems to me Dracula can give his "love" to anyone. I think Dracula is trying to bring his daughter back, so she may be his great love, but with the terrible pacing, plot, acting, dubbing, etc, who knows what's really going on.

And that's not all...

Search For The Next Elvira (44 mins each/2007)

Kweeny's Rating: Beehive Me Elvira!

Summary: I finished my marathon out with two of the four episodes I found on Hulu. The basic premise is people try to transform themselves into Elvira, and it's pretty entertaining to watch! I mean no one can truly be The Mistress of the Dark, but it's sure fun to watch them try! It was a great way to end my marathon!

Phew! That was an intense day of movie-watching! But I have another day coming, when I go and watch the AMC marathon of HALLOWEEN movies! Gonna do some tomorrow! Stay tuned!

HHMMM: Day 22

Well I got a week of intense movie watching to do. I thought I'd start small with a couple movies. Tomorrow I plan to do my Elvira Movie Marathon, then Wednesday a Halloween Marathon. Today's picks are:

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (78 mins/1920)

Kweeny's Rating: Darkly Wonderful

Summary: They don't make movies like this one anymore. This silent ara film is the story of Dr. Caligari and his travelling hypnotized companion Ceasre who predicts the future. (mostly because he kills the people he predicts are gonna die.) It's a delightfully dark tale, and I love that so much can be conveyed with only images,a few words scribbled on cards and music.

Brain Dead (85 mins/2007)

Kweeny's Rating: YAWNSAUCE

Summary: I really thought this was gonna be the other BRAIN DEAD/Dead Alive movie I was actually trying to find. Netflix tricked me! *shakes fist* And this movie sucked. The effects are sub-par at best, the characters are boring and nothing I haven't seen before, and the zombies are laughable. This one I might come back to and convince Mad Jester to watch for me for Arrrrg My Fucking Eyes.

More movies to come! We are past the half way mark now! Soon Halloween will be upon us, and I have been promised by Sweeney Todd that I can have a break after I finish THE MADNESS! Sweet sleep how I miss thee.

Halloween Countdown: Pumpkin Carving 2012!

It is not Halloween without the Traditional Pumpkin Carving Massacre! Especially not for me. As you all know, I am a huge fan of the messy task of carving pumpkins, right down to feeling the squishy, juicy guts in my hands! Mmm pumpkins! I don't think I'd ever get tired of them if I was allowed to have some all year round, but then again, they would loose that specialness they have if they were available all the time. A piece of magic that can only be captured in memory. 

Of course this year's Halloween Pumpkin Massacre happened in Portland with my friends, which was awesome but different than when I do it at home. But we still got a couple pictures...

Here's Nikki and I discussing our pumpkin plans...I dunno what was up with her hand. Maybe she was preparing for [Graverobber voice] Surgery, surgery...[/Graverobber voice]

Guts all over my fingers, the best part of pumpkin carving. 

This is where I realized I derped the top of my pumpkin. The lid wasn't fitting right.  *chuckles*

My spooky zombie hand pumpkin completed!  He lost some fingers in "The War"

My pumpkin with the strange LED light in it. Not as bright as a candle, but I bet it looks spooky flickering at night! 

Nikki's adorable kitty pumpkin. Nothing beats a candle for lighting don't you think?

I think the pumpkins turned out pretty good! I hope Nikki and Sean send me pictures of all the pumpkins we did once they are set up at their place!